akameda

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3 to RyoDa <3 again.
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: Attempted Angst and Fluff. UNBETA-ED! So, forgive the wrong grammar and blaaahs. It's choppy, too. I'm so sorry.
Disclaimer: I OWN THEM!... in my dreams. Boohoo...
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful. But then again...
Chapter Summary: Maybe it won't hurt if he tries again, right?
A/N: Please don't kick me. ;o; I'm so sorry this took a hell lot of time. I was busy with college applications and school stuff. Aaand, please don't kick me if it sucked, because this is not how it was supposed to end, sadly. Anyway, on to the fic.

A/N again : This has been edited, (04/20/2009)

 

Three months had passed since that happened. Nothing was spoken about it, except for the times Tatsuya had to cry his sadness out on one of his closest friends. He wanted to talk to Ryo, as friends. But when he heard the truth behind everything, he wanted to despise him all of his life.

It turned out that Ryo had feelings for Ohkura before they even got together, but Ryo ignored those feelings because there was Tatsuya in front of him. And when Yamapi told him about “Ryo getting rid of him”, he went away from Yamashita, feeling much very insulted for the fact that he was addressed like an object.

 

There were times when Ueda would see Ryo who would brush him off like nothing happened between them. Jin said that he was still guilty about what he had done, but Tatsuya didn’t believe him; he thought it was his ego, which always came first. They didn’t talk to each other, and pretended that neither of them existed when they were in one group of friends.

 

Ueda knew very well that he had to move on, and he tried his best. One time, he asked Jin to help him by stating all the things that will really make him hate Ryo. Jin started off with “he only sees himself, and he won’t care about what would happen to other people”, and Ueda ended up crying, and crying, and crying, and said, “I don’t think I’ll be able to let go…” before he had to fix himself because of the photoshoot they were going to have after.

 

Despite of that last statement, he still did everything just to forget about Ryo. He immediately deleted all of Ryo’s messages and Ryo’s number and burned the bed sheets they laid on when they made love. He had to let go of the panda, too although he didn’t want to. During the first month that had passed, he treated the stuffed toy as “the Ryo that will love him forever”, but as time went by, seeing the panda hurt him as well. And he ended up giving it to Maru, requesting him to keep it for the mean time.

 

And now, after those dreadful months, Tatsuya believes that he has moved on. He acts completely fine when Ryo is around and is ignoring Ueda completely, and he just laughs when that topic is brought up by his friends. He is perfectly fine, happy, free, ecstatic.

 

But that ends in a short while.

 

Ueda is sitting idly on Jin’s couch as the other members scatter themselves all over Jin’s apartment, celebrating the release of their new album. NEWS is there, too to celebrate the release of their single. Jin thought it’s a good idea to celebrate all together; “The more, the merrier!”, he added.

 

Tatsuya continues to laugh at his band mates goofing around, but stops when he sees a shadow in front of him. He doesn’t look up though; he’s just some person who got lost and ended up in front of him.

 

"I seriously don't get why you find it funny. Are you possessed fishlips? Oh wait. Maybe you are."

 

Ueda furrows his brows in confusion, slowly looks up, and sees… Nishikido in front of him, giving of the smirk that he has. Did he just talk to me? He chooses to ignore him though, and drifts his eyes back to his friends.

 

“Ora donkey, it’s proper manners to answer when someone is talking to you.”

 

He DID. He can’t believe what is happening. After those three months, Nishikido was talking to him again! “What do you want, Nishikido?” He asks, finally looking up to the other’s eyes.

 

But before Ryo could even answer, Maru calls him and gestures Ueda to follow him.

 

~

 

At Jin’s bedroom…

 

“Ueda! He’s talking to you again!” Maru asks exasperatedly like it has never happened before, and shakes Ueda painfully by the shoulders.

 

Ueda lets himself be shaken, and replies, “I KNOW! It’s like, what happened!?”

 

“I should be the one asking you that.” Maru says, before letting go of Ueda.

 

“Maybe…” He sighs as he continues, “both of us have moved on already.”

 

~

 

Another day starts, and Ueda can’t let go of the fact that Ryo talked to him the other day. Both of us have moved on already. He doesn’t know why, but it was painful when he said that. Yet he ignores that feeling, and continues on with his work. He expects that everything will be normal, him getting used to Ryo not talking to him.

 

But no, Ryo talks to him again.

 

And it was the usual, insults.

 

“Oi fishlips, why do you keep on showing up everywhere I go? You’re stalking me, aren’t you?”

 

Ueda doesn’t answer; instead, he stares at him…

 

Then walks passed him.

 

He doesn’t hear Ryo calling his name as strides away, or maybe he doesn’t want to hear it…

 

~

 

A day turns into a week, then a month, and Ryo is still persistently insulting every time he can.  On the other hand, Ueda gets more confused every single time, not knowing what to feel; fear or joy?

 

In order to organize these confusions, he asks Jin about it.

 

“Jin, what’s wrong with him?” He asks Jin, who is sitting on his couch, and hands him a cup of hot chocolate. “I don’t get him. He’s not supposed to be talking to me.” He continues before takes the seat beside Akanishi.

 

“The choco is good~!” Jin comments, and receives a slap on the forehead. “Ow!”

 

“You’re not answering me properly.”

 

“It’s because I’m not suppose to say anything about that.” Jin replies, pouting.

 

“Sucks.” Ueda sighs as he sits back on the couch. “He’s confusing me a lot. And I don’t know why, but I kind of feel happy.” He cocks his head to the side. “I’m supposed to stay neutral. But nooo~ I’M FREAKIN HAPPY.”

 

“I don’t want you two to hurt yourselves.” Jin suddenly speaks, his expression neutral and the rim of the mug resting on his lower lip.

 

Tatsuya’s eyes widens as he heard it. “What did you say?”

 

“Hm?” Jin replies after bringing the mug down on the coffee table. It takes him about 20 seconds to absorb what he said, then covers his mouth when he finally realized it. “I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING!” He shouts out, shifting on his seat.

 

“No, Akanishi. I heard it loud and clear.” Tatsuya faces his band mate, eyes filled with hope and anxiety. Wait… I’m not happy. I’m just curious. Right, Tatsuya? Right.

 

Jin sighs in defeat, and says, “Well, he’s planning on doing something. But he won’t tell me.” Then he plays with the rim of his mug.

 

The rest is a mystery.

 

~

 

After that conversation, Ueda can’t get the thought off his mind. He’s planning something? What is he planning? He’s just interested; he assures himself. He’s not hoping for something nice from that jerk. He’s totally not expecting something happy will happen between them. And he’s so not dreaming about something that is Ryo and him.

 

Nope, nope. Definitely not.

 

Not until he reads the note he found on his dresser on a Monday morning.

 

He went to work early that day to finish some paper work he left the night before. He noticed the note when he was fixing himself on the mirror. His heart skipped a beat when he read the contents.

 

Tatsuya,

 

12pm sharp. At the rooftop.

 

Ryo

 

And now there stands Tatsuya, tapping his feet on the concrete floor of the rooftop, nervously waiting for the next thing that will happen. He thinks that it’s stupid though; it’s just 11:45am. He sighs in frustration. What am I thinking? He ponders before sitting on the cold floor, hugging his knees close to him.

 

“Quite early, aren’t we?”

 

Ueda turns his head, and sees Ryo standing in front of him. He does the same, dusting away dirt from his jeans. “Let’s get this on fast. What do you want?”

 

Ryo looks at him blankly. “Oooo-kay… I want us to be together again.”

 

Ueda stares at him, very much shocked by what the other man said. “What?”

 

Ryo shifts his eyes on the ground, and bites his lower lip as he answers, “I know it’s stupid, and you probably still hate me. But… I really do want us to be together again.”

 

Tatsuya raises an eyebrow at him. “Then you’ll leave me again after 5 days?”

 

“No! I promise I won’t. I won’t…”

 

He rolls his eyes at this. “Huh. Yeah right.You left me once, and you could always do that. AGAIN.” He says, before walking past Nishikido, only to be pulled back again. He doesn’t look back though.

 

“Look… Please give me a chance. Please…”

 

Ueda thinks that Ryo is crying already and his heart is actually aching. He ponders for a while, and without thinking, he says:

 

“Two weeks. If after two weeks you think you’re still on for that ‘let’s get back together’ thing, I’ll think about it.”

 

And then he escapes.

 

~

 

Ueda Tatsuya, what is wrong with you? Why did you say that?! He rants to himself. He actually succumbed to Nishikido’s sweet talking a while ago. Mentally punching himself, he wonders if Ryo’s telling the truth. Joy and fear both fills him at the same time; Joy, because he might get Ryo again (even though he’s still in denial in that part) and fear, because it might happen again (thus, a sequel).

 

Come what may, he thinks, and heads on.

 

~

 

1.                          The next day, he’s not so surprised that a bouquet of roses lying on his dresser. He takes the plain white card that goes with it, and furrows his eyebrows when all he sees was:

 

“i”

 

2.                          The day after, it’s a box of chocolates. There’s another card, and he blinks at it when he says another character. This time:

 

“s”

 

3.                          The third day, he sees a teddy bear next. And thus, another card.

 

“t”

 

He’s quite pissed off at the thought of Nishikido not showing is face to him. But when Jin immediately talks about Ryo being in Osaka for two weeks, he feels sad, and he doesn’t know why. Oh well.

 

4.                          Next is a heart-shaped pillow, and his face was printed on it. He laughs at the vanity, the typical Ryo. He picks up another card.

 

“i”

 

But Ryo should stop leaving things on his dresser. The others are starting to think that Ueda has a stalker already.

 

5.                          The day after, there is nothing on his dresser. He is about to panic when-

 

“Tat-chan! Can I have this plushie? It’s so cuuuute!” Taguchi suddenly appears from behind the sofa, a pig plushie in his arms.

 

“No. You can’t have it.” Ueda says, and grins when he sees Junno pout.

 

The other man hands him the plushie, but no card…

 

“Taguchi-kun, did this have a card with it?” Ueda asks as calmly as possible.

 

“Umm… Yeah. It’s on your dresser.”

 

He dashes to his dresser, and spots the card which says:

 

“l”

 

I don’t get these letters. Oh well…

 

6.                          It’s a pair of fluffy bunny house slippers this time. He eyes it warily, and telepathically slaps Ryo on the forehead, even though it isn’t possible. Jin wants to have that this time, but of course he won’t give it. He keeps the card in his pocket, and the secret letter today is,

 

“l”

 

7.                          He holds a tumbler in his hand; a neon pink colored tumbler which has a “Ryo is Genki” written on it. He sighs, thinking that Ryo might be the vainest person he has ever met.

 

The card is inside the tumbler, and it reads:

 

“l”

 

One week has passed now, and Ueda doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t want to hope that things would go well, still afraid of that happening again. Oh well, come what may, he thinks again, before going to sleep.

 

8.                          He looks at himself in the mirror of his dresser, wearing the sweater Ryo gave him. It had a big “I’m Ryo’s fan” embroidered on it, and he refuses to think why he’s wearing it. He takes the card…

 

“o”

 

9.                          He likes this gift, of all the things he gave at this point. It’s a pair of blue socks with a penguin design. He wears it immediately because it was too cute to resist, and because Jin might snag it away. The card now says,

 

“v”

 

10.                       A blue guitar pick this time. It was inside a pink scented envelope (which was sort of weird, he didn’t know Ryo could be like that), along with the card.

 

“e”

 

11.                       It’s not a gift this time. It’s a rose. Just a rose. Not socks, piilows or something. A single red rose, and the card is tied up around the stem…

 

“y”

 

12.                       And another one…

 

“o”

 

13.                       And another one…

 

“u”

 

14.                       It’s a music sheet of Ohkura’s Mamoritai. What’s he planning to say? He thinks to himself, somewhat offended because it’s Ohkura’s work, and he vividly remembers how Ryo ogled at him. But he ignores it, and looks for the card that he expects to be there.

 

He finds it, and this time, and conveys a complete thought.

 

“Put them all together.”

 

Not as complete as it sounds, but as least it’s a complete sentence. Does he mean the letters? Good thing he keeps them all in his wallet. And so he does…

 

i s t i l l l o v e y o u.

 

I still love you…

 

 

He receives an SMS from Ryo that day, telling him to meet him again at the rooftop, same time as before.

 

~

 

And there he is once again, standing on the cold floor of the rooftop, 15 minutes early. His hands are sweating like mad, anxious of what will happen.

 

He thinks about it. Maybe it won’t hurt, right? To start again, to love him, welcome him in his life once more… nope, it won’t.

 

“So… what now?”

 

He turns to see Nishikido again after two weeks, and he thinks about it again. He somehow proved himself, did his best and all, but… is it worth it?

 

“I… I’m not sure.” Ueda replies, eyes fanning everywhere except Nishikido.

 

He isn’t expecting the next thing; Ryo suddenly hugs him tight, his limbs around his waist, and he suddenly misses how it feels to be in his arms. That warmth radiating from his body, and the security that he gives…

 

“Please let me, hime. I love you, I still do.”

 

Ueda doesn’t know why, but his eyes tear up when he heard it. He melts in Ryo’s embrace, wrapping his arms around the other’s. Then he realizes one thing…

 

After all these times…

 

The pains…

 

The suffering…

 

The agony…

 

“I still love you after all.”

 

~Owari~

 

A/N2: I told you it sucked. D: Please don't kick me. D: