akameda

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: <s>Attempted</s> Angst. XDDD I did this like, 2:00 in the morning. So yeah. And this is only un-beta'd. So yeah. It's... awful.
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful.
A/N: This has been edited. (04/20/2009)

Ueda stared at the message this certain man sent him. That man whom he cherished, loved, cared... He gave him everything; his time, his affection, and the love that he deserved. He was patient and considerate with him. He would just sit there and watch when this man was whenever he's with his friends more than he should be with him, thinking that he wouldn't want to make his lover think that he was selfish. He was always there beside him, helping him if he needed it. He would distort his schedule just to go to him. All in all, he tried to be the best lover; He really did.

But in the end, he just got his heart broken.

Tatsuya sat on his bed, still staring at his phone. He read that message again and again and again and again. He doesn't know why he read it so many times. That message just tears his heart into a million pieces whenever he did. It would make him cry again even though there were no more tears to cry out. He would start to think again, although those thoughts were thought about days before. It would make him punch the same portion of the wall which was slightly reddish already (because of blood). All in all, this hurt him A LOT.

But despite that, this message made him a little happy. It gave him a sense of assurance that there was still something genuine that happened between them. Their feelings were true to each other. The hugs, the kisses, the touches; all of those were filled with love. The words said were true; the "Goodnight", "Do your best", "See you tomorrow", "8PM, ok?", "Don't overwork yourself", and "I love you"... Yes. Those made him happy, even though he was bombarded with all the sadness and despair this single man gave him.

"Why did you do this to me?!" He yelled, tears once again streaming out of his eyes. He couldn't take it, and he threw the cellphone at the wall.

He stared at the floor. He gripped the cushions hard, not seeming to take all the pain more. He wanted to kill that man. He wanted to tie him up on a pole and make him a human sand bag. He badly wanted to punch him until he coughs out blood. He wanted to make black and blue marks on him until his whole body is sore. He wanted to crush that handsome face he had, until it became very unpresentable. He really desired to make him feel a slow and painful death, one like he was feeling right now; he really did.

But he loves him too much to hurt him.

"I hate you Nishikido..." He whispered between sobs.

And then he remembered all of those happy moments they had; the love that they once shared. Those were the times when they were happy, too happy that it was so painful to think of. Those were the times when a mutual feeling was shared, and that feeling was so true that it became a big waste. Those were the times that their touches were so pure, so pure that you want to rub the essence off. It was all bitterness in the end. And yet...

"... But why do I still love you?"

The tear-stained cellphone lies there forgotten, and flashes the dreaded message...

Tatsuya, I know you don't
want to talk to me right now,
but what the hell, here I go.
I know you wouldn't believe me,
but I really did love you.
I never played with you.
But... the feelings are gone now,
and I wouldn't want to
hurt you with a lie. I'm really
sorry, I really am... Goodnight.

-Nishikido


~