Where I Dump My Darkest... Inner Most...

Fic: Frozen Blue Bacardi

Wed, 13 May 2009 16:23:48 GMT

Title: Frozen Blue Bacardi
Author: pleu16
Pairing: Ryoda
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Drama, Romance
Disclaimer: They're mine... in my dreams.
Summary: Ueda Tatsuya, a world renowned businessman, married to a woman of his class. Nishikido Ryo, a hardworking bartender, struggling to live as a single parent. They both have something, but it just doesn't satisfy everything.
Warnings: It sucks.
A/N: Thank you, mknsen08 for the beta, and to rockerista03 for helping me. And I dedicate this fic to miyukaii and murasakimegumi because I love them so much.

Ueda walks in the place he knows oh too well, eyeing the seats near the bar. He squeezes his way out of the sweaty bodies moving to the rhythm of the sounds and finally takes the chair. He's working tonight, he thinks to himself and orders the drink he never gets tired off.

"Frozen Blue Bacardi, please." He waves his hand, getting the bartender's attention.

The bartender looks at his direction, and gives Ueda a smirk when he recognizes him. "Oh, it's you again."

He gives him a small smile, "Shut up, Nishikido."

Ueda watches this so-called Nishikido as he prepares the cocktail. A jigger of this, a scoop of that and it all goes to the blender. The bartender pours the drink onto a martini glass and settles it in front of his costumer. "So, how's your wife?"

Ueda sighs and takes a sip, "Annoying as ever. How's your kid?"

Nishikido rests his hands on the countertop, a grim look on his face. "He's doing good. But... we're kinda in need of food though. He's getting thinner."

Ueda nods quietly, then takes another sip of the Bacardi. He remembers the time when they met. It was Jin's birthday party and he took them to the bar because he said he wanted them to meet a friend of his. Turns out, it was the bartender, Nishikido Ryo. They didn't talk much at first, and things became even more awkward when they sat next to each other. But when Ueda caught Nishikido staring at him, everything just had to change.

"Excuse me, Nishikido-san... Why are you staring at me?"

"Uh... sorry. I got fond of your lips."

"Excuse me?"

"Maybe I should call you 'fishlips'."

"WHAT?"

Ueda laughs quietly at the sudden memory. He didn't get mad though; he was actually amused.

"If I'm 'fishlips', then you're 'midget'."

"Excuse me, sir, but I am not short."

"Check again, munchkin."

"Hey!"

They asked for each other's numbers; they called and mailed each other, too. Ueda goes to the bar more frequently than ever and eventually they became close friends. Ueda came to know Ryo's story. He had a one-night stand with some woman and unfortunately, he got her pregnant. The baby was born, but immediately after that, the mother left him with the child, giving him all the responsibility to raise the boy. Ryo mentioned that he wanted to leave his son in an orphanage because he knows his salary and maturity weren't enough to make the child healthy. His own family wouldn't lend him money and his boss had his fists closed around his cash. Though thanks to his friends' encouragement and help (from Jin mostly), he got through it all.

"You know Ueda, I've been yapping the whole time and you haven't told anything about yourself yet."

"Maybe you're just too talkative."

"And you're just too chicken to talk to me about yourself. Who knows, maybe you're a murderer or something."

"Jerk. Fine, I'll talk."

Ueda Tatsuya was the heir of his father's corporation. He had practically everything; fame and fortune, his parents and his sister (who were always supportive of him), and a good set of friends, Maru, Junno, and Kame. Like most of the rich families in this world, his parents had arranged a marriage to a lady from the neighbouring corporation to broaden their connections and their assets. Tatsuya, being the lovable son that he is, just went with it. At first, his wife was great; kind, caring, loving, and all those adjectives that make up the perfect wife. But it wasn't going to be perfect forever. The woman started nagging, shouting, rambling, ranting, and other things that annoyed him a lot. Her voice rings in his ears and he just wants her to shut up and never talk again.

He stares at the blue drink for a while, and goes back to the world when Ryo pats him on the shoulder. "Earth to Ueda."

An apolodetic smile appears in Ueda's face. "Sorry." He looks at his friend and pauses for a while. "You can always ask some help from me. Remember that."

"You've helped enough and I don't even know how to repay you." Ryo replies as he hands a cocktail to a costumer.

Ueda finishes his drink at last. "You don't need to," and he smiles sincerely at him.

~

"Frozen Blue Bacardi." Ueda says as he takes his usual seat.

Ryo looks at his direction with a smirk and goes on with the drink. He hands him the glass. "You're here early."

Ueda deeply sighs. "I had to get away from my wife. She's been yapping about the 'I'm your wife and I should know where you've been going everynight'-shit."

The bartender laughs out loud, "Goodluck with that!"

Ueda laughs with him. "Yeah."

He doesn't know why, but he finds comfort there, in the seat he's on, in the drink that he has came to love and in Nishikido's laughter that he's yearned for when he's down.

~

"Two shots of Jim Beam with Coke. And put some lime on it." Ueda practically commands as he sits down.

"Hey man, chill. What's wrong?" Ryo inquires as he starts making Ueda's drink.

Ueda beats his forehead with the balls of his palms and when he realizes his own stupidity, he rubs his skin to ease the sting, and he sighs. "My wife's cheating on me."

Ryo stops for a while and looks at Ueda with a blank expression. "What?"

"She's been having sex with some guy. Fine, I don't really love her. But... we're married. There's still the word COMMITMENT somewhere between the lines." Ueda blabs, then immediately gulps down the drink before the glass even lands on the table.

Ryo crosses his arms before resting them on the countertop. "Well then, that just means she's not taking you seriously."

"I know!" Ueda drops the glass carelessly, but not hard enough to break it and flails his hand in front of him to emphasize. "It's just... frustrating. If there's anything I can't take, it's dirty playing. That goes with cheating." He drinks again. Ryo stays quiet and simply pats him on the shoulder.

Ueda looks at Ryo, eyes half-closed and his brows burrowed. Ryo just stares back at him, his eyes wide-open and his right brow raised. They stay like that for a while, until Ueda starts speaking, "How about you come drink with me?"

The younger just blinks at him, "What?"

"You heard me! I'll buy a bottle of tequila then come home with me and we'll drink until we get drunk!"

"But--"

Ryo couldn't finish because Ueda pulls him out of the place, along with a bottle of Jose Cuervo.

~

They're at Ueda's apartment now (not at his home, where he and his wife actually stay together), sitting on the couch in his living room like bums, laughing like crazy as they talked about everything. Ueda feels free though; no worries, no work and no wife, even just for a while. He feels so free that he forgets about etiquette and drinks directly from the bottle.

"Hey! Save some for me!" Ryo whines as he tries to grab the tequila.

Ueda stops drinking, then shoves it onto the bartender. "Tsk. Fine." They laugh again.

Their laughter dies down for a moment and they had their backs fully resting on the couch, sitting side by side, staring at the ceiling, feeling wasted and light-headed. Ryo breaks the silence and looks at Ueda's cheek. "You know the real reason why that woman left me?"

Ueda looks back at him, "Why?"

"I'm gay."

Ueda waits for the punchline or a giggle after what he said, but there was none. He stares at him wide eyed. "What?"

"She actually drugged me and had her way with me. Then when she was going to tell me she was pregnant, I was in my house fucking a guy I met at the bar. So as soon as the baby was born, she went to my house, shoved the child onto my arms and walked away without saying anything."

Ueda should be scared. He should be throwing Ryo out of his apartment and shouting things like 'I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FAGGY FACE AGAIN', but he couldn't make himself to. Instead, he just sits there, eyeing the other man blankly.

"Can't believe it? But yeah. I'm gay and I like you."

He should be scared now, but he still isn't. There's a funny feeling in his stomach and he doesn't know what it means.

Ryo's face is getting nearer. If Ueda was sober, he'd be running away. But he isn't and he lets Ryo get closer and closer until he could feel the other's breath on his skin.

"You're beautiful; has anybody told you that?"

Ueda couldn't answer though because Ryo's lips were on his. It's a simpe kiss, but Ryo's lips, oh his lips, felt so soft on Ueda's that he wants to lean in. But before he could, Ryo pulls away and looks at him with such emotion that he never felt around his own wife.

Before he could even think what he's going to do, Ueda pulls Ryo's collar and kisses him hard. I shouldn't be doing this, he thinks, but he doesn't care. There's something in Ryo that he needs and he needs it now.

Ueda Tatsuya! Stop this instant! He tells himself. He feels Ryo's tongue entering his mouth and he lets him. It grazes along the inside and it feels oh so good that he grips the other's forearms hard. He shivers at the feeling of the hot muscle wrapping around his own and of Ryo's hand holding his neck in place.

They go on like this, in a battle of dominance, which Ryo was clearly winning and Ueda was submitting. No! Stop... Ueda disregards his thoughts and he lets Ryo push him to lie down completely on the couch without breaking the kiss. Everything is fast and rough. Ueda's hands now holding Ryo's nape and Ryo closing all the space between them, leaning down with more force to deepen the kiss.

Ueda finds himself whimpering when Ryo breaks the kiss, but his whimpers turn into gasps when he sees Ryo removing his shirt. He tosses it somewhere, then shakily unbuttons Ueda's shirt. Shit, this isn't good. He slaps away the other's hands and does it himself while Ryo stands up to remove his pants, then helps Ueda remove his.

Ryo is on top of him again; this time, their skins touching and it feels oh so good. They kiss again, holding each other closer harshly, twin erections brushing, and two hearts beating as one. Ryo breaks away from Ueda's lips and shifts to suck on his pulse, bringing out a breathy sigh. Ryo goes lower, leaving a wet path as he moves until he reaches Ueda's nipples. He licks and sucks on one of the nubs and tweaks the other, making Ueda arch his back in pleasure. Ueda holds the back of Ryo's head, applying a bit of pressure on it. "Ugh... Ryo..."

Ryo switches, releasing the current nub on fingers to suck on it. He goes even lower, not failing to dip his tongue in his belly button while relishing the feeling of Ueda's abs under his touch. Ueda watches him intently, expectantly waiting for the other to reach his cock. But to his dismay, Ryo goes back to his mouth to start another liplock session. He's about to bite Ryo's lip to show his annoyance, but when Ryo grips his cock hard, Ueda forgets about the lip-biting and moans.

Ueda grunts loudly as Ryo starts moving his hand, shifting his position, now sitting on his heels. Ueda feels Ryo's gaze and he couldn't help but blush. Ryo pumps and pumps and pumps, not taking long for Ueda to reach his climax, splattering his cum on Ryo's hand; "Ryo!" Ueda screams as he arches his back.

He breathes heavily as he comes down from his high. He opens his eyes, not noticing they closed and watches Ryo questionably as he smothers his fingers with Ueda's semen. The hand disappears between his legs and he feels a finger inside his entrance, making him squirm in discomfort and a little bit of pain. Ryo leans closer and lulls him with soothing words. "Shhhh, just trust me," and continues preparing him until he had three fingers inside. Not failing to graze over that spot, surprisingly Ueda relaxes. His arms reached around the other's neck, staring at the sense of concern radiating from Ryo's eyes.

Ryo withdraws his hand and positions himself on Ueda's hole. "Tell me if it hurts too much, okay?"

Ueda nods in reply and he bites his lower lip in pain as Ryo slowly enters him. Ryo showers him with comforting kisses to ease the sting. They stay like that for a while until Ryo breaks the silence. "Are you okay?"

Ueda exhales heavily, "Yeah."

Ryo smiles. "Just relax."

Ueda doesn't get to answer. Ryo starts moving slowly and carefully. He thrusts repeatedly and he hits the spot, "Fuck-- there!" Ueda screams and making Ryo move faster, harder and not missing to brush his prostate making Ueda move with him. Everything becomes a blur for the both of them, as the pleasure of sex takes over them as they mindlessly blend their bodies into one.

Ryo once again, takes Ueda's cock in his hands and strokes it in time with his movements. It doesn't take long for the two of them come, one after the other. Their inner vibes calm down and they fall onto a deep slumber.

~

Ueda wakes up with a killer headache. He sits up with his hand cradling his head and tries to remember what had happened last night. The bottle of tequila on the coffee table, the cushions scattered on the floor, him butt-naked on the couch...

"Shit."

His eyes widened in horror as the sudden revelation hits him. It's funny though, because he woke up alone. He scans his living room further and notices the note on the table.

Tatsuya,

Sorry, I had to leave early. I forgot about my kid. Haha.

-Ryo

He crumples the piece of paper and throws it somewhere in frustration. He just had sex with someone his not committed to and fuck, with a guy. What has he done? What was he going to tell his wife? He was the one who wanted her to be at least faithful to the marriage and then he breaks his own principles. What about his family? This is an utter disgrace to the dogma of the Ueda clan.

What was he going to do with himself? What is he going to do with Ryo?

~

It's been three weeks since the incident and it's been long since Tatsuya saw Ryo. He hasn't gone to the bar and he doesn't even bother answering Ryo's messages and calls. He knows it's insensitive of him, but he's not ready to face the bartender. Or probably he doesn't want to see him at all.

He didn't want to think. His mind has been blank, he's been spacing out more than often and everything seems to bug him. He tries to drown it all with work and surprisingly, it works too well to the point that he thinks of nothing else but work and he can't even tell if it's morning or evening.

No, he really doesn't want to think about it. Everything could just be the way it's supposed to be.

Except today, maybe.

He hears faint voices from outside his office... more like faint screaming voices.

"Sir, Ueda-san doesn't want visitors!"

"I don't care! I will see him and I will right now!"

That voice seems oddly familiar--

The door suddenly slams open, and a fuming Nishikido stomps his away inside the office with a panicking secretary. He continues to walk towards Tatsuya's desk and slams his hands on the table top. "Why are you avoiding me, Tatsuya?!"

Tatsuya just sits there, eyes wide in shock and face pale with fear. His efforts of trying to put himself together... wasted in a blink. He doesn't know exactly how to answer, moreover how to handle the whole situation. A shaky sigh escapes his lips, "Mitsuhara-san, could you leave us for a moment, please?" The secretary follows, quietly closing the door shut.

He glues his gaze on the stack of papers in front of him, biting his lower lip in nervousness and guilt. "Why are you here, Nishikido?"

"Don't give me that, Tatsuya! Why are you avoiding me?!" The harshness of Ryo's voice makes him flinch and that makes him unable to answer even more. He could feel Ryo's glare on him and now he feels the weight of everything fall down on his shoulders. It hurts so much that he wants to cry.

He decides to look up-- to look at Ryo, but he regrets it when he does because Ryo is crying. He watches him wipe his tears with the back of his hand hurriedly, then he asks another question "Are you regretting what happened? Just answer that one question."

Still, he's unsure how to answer back properly.

"Please, Tatsuya."

"I-I don't know..."

Ryo goes to his side, kneels down and holds his shoulders to make the other face him. "I won't take that answer." Ueda is still quiet, staring at anything but him. "Please Tat-"

"Stop it!" Ueda yells, yanking Ryo's arms away from him. "You want an answer? Fine. I regret what happened and I never want to see you again! Happy now?!" He shouts at him, looking at Ryo's eyes the whole time he's screaming and he immediately looks away again. He feels numb, speaking without thinking just to end this whole situation. To the extent that he doesn't notice his own tears.

Ueda sees Ryo lower his head from the corner of his eyes and Ryo slowly walks towards to door. His hand holds onto the knob and somehow, Ueda doesn't want him to turn it.

"Alright. That was all I needed to know." And he hears Ryo say, "Goodbye."

And when he hears the door click, he hears his own sobs, too.

~

Tatsuya comes home to his wife that night, ignoring her ramblings and walking straight to his room. As soon as he gets in, he removes his clothes, tosses them carelessly on the floor, and flops onto the bed in his boxers. He likes it this way because it's comfortable, but it isn't enough to ease his pain.

Pain?

Why would he feel pain? Shouldn't he feel shame? He had sex with his friend and what's crazier is that the person turns out to be a he. If anyone were to know about that, it would bring shame to his family's name. He cheated on his wife and he doesn't care if that makes the whole thing fair because he doesn't play dirty. No. He will never play dirty. Besides, he doesn't really have those kinds of feelings towards Ryo...

Are you regretting what happened?

The question starts to bounce against the walls of his room, echoing and nagging him. Did he really regret it?

He thinks about it and unbelievably, that was the only night he felt liberated from the system of society. It was in Ryo's presence that he could act like himself, removing that mask he wears whenever he's in front of his business partners, his wife, his parents and everyone who expects highly of him. When Ryo's around, he doesn't have to lie to himself and he liked that feeling of freedom.

Wouldn't it be nice to feel that way all your life?

Realizing that he doesn't want to live a lie anymore, Tatsuya decides that he should have done what he was supposed to.

He has to start being honest to himself.

~

Tatsuya goes to the place he knew by heart that night and immediately runs to that seat he always took.

Although, something was different...

"Excuse me," he asks the worker nearest him, "isn't Nishikido-san supposed to be working tonight?"

The other turns to him, "Oh, Nishikido-san? He suddenly ran out when he got a phone call a while ago. It seems as though his son got caught in a car accident."

His world stops turning for a while, trying to digest what the man had said. Before he could even think of what to say, his mouth speaks for him instead.

"Which hospital?"

~

"Aka-chan, everything's gonna be okay now. So please wake up for Papa, okay?"

Tatsuya finds himself glued to on the spot in front of Ryo's hospital room, hearing Ryo's sobs and pleas. He honestly doesn't know what to do; if he comes in, who knows what Ryo will do to him. He could kick him out immediately without letting him explain or he can ignore him like he doesn't exist at all or he can embrace him and say "Thank God, you came' or-

"Please Aka-chan. Papa loves you so much."

He stops thinking of stupid possibilities and abruptly opens the door. Ryo's there, sitting on a chair beside the hospital bed, looking at him with red, puffy eyes. "Ta-Tatsuya?" He murmurs, more tears sliding down his cheeks as he looks at the man by the door.

He walks mindlessly towards the other man, who is still rooted on his seat, staring at him as if he had seen a ghost. Tatsuya doesn't care though. He reaches for him as he put his arms around Ryo's neck, craddling the other on his abdomen. He strokes Ryo's hair through his fingers, treating him as if he was about to fall apart. "Shh... don't talk. Everything's gonna be fine." He soothes him with comforting words and when Ryo clutches his shirt and stains it with tears, Tatsuya smiles. "Cry all you want. I won't leave you."

Tatsuya hugs him tighter, "I won't leave you anymore."

~

"Mama! Come pway wit me!"

"Ryo, how many times do I have to tell you! Tell your son to stop calling me 'mama'!"

"He calls me 'papa', and we're living together. Doesn't that make you 'mama'? Besides, he still thinks you're a woman."

Tatsuya pouts at Ryo's answer. They're in his home, sitting together on the couch and watching their son play and not in the separate apartment. He divorced his wife a long time ago and his parents seemed disappointed, but he didn't mind it. He could always back it up with superb business performances. As long as he's happy and as long he doesn't pretend that he is, he doesn't care about what people think of him. With Ryo and Aka-chan, nothing can make him happier.

He doesn't notice that he's been staring at Ryo the whole time he was thinking. "Earth to Tatsuya!" Ryo gets his attention, waving his hand in front of his face.

"Huh? What?" Tatsuya answers dumbfoundly.

"You're drooling already." Ryo replies with a goofy grin.

"No, I'm not!" He pauses for a while to ponder, "I'm just thinking."

"Oh?" He sees Ryo's ears perk up at the answer. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing," he smiles, taking Ryo's hand, entertwining their fingers together. "I'm just happy." He looks at the other dearly and continues, "Now that you two are with me, I feel like nothing's going to make me feel miserable anymore."

Ryo returns the smile, then gently grabs Tatsuya by the back of his neck, pulling him close until their foreheads meet. They look each other in the eyes, and Ryo swears, "I will always make you happy, Tatsuya."

He nods, the gleam on his face still present. "I love you."

"Same here."

They stay like that for a while until little Aka-chan tugs on Ryo's sleeve. "Papa, I want something to dwink!"

They look at the boy, pouting and Ryo gives up. He releases Tatsuya from his hold, "Okay, okay. Let's get you something to drink." Nishikido stands up and takes Aka-chan's hand, leaving the other on the couch.

Drink, huh?...

"Hey, Ryo."

The other man stops, and looks over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

Tatsuya cocks his head to the side, giving off his cutest facial expression, "Could you make me that drink again?"

Ryo smirks at him. "You mean that Frozen Blue Bacardi?" Tatsuya nods in reply. "You really like that thing, don't you?"

"Well, yeah. It was the one thing that brought us together, ne~" He replies in a sing-song manner, bending his head to the other side, a childish grin on his face.

The bartender laughs heartily at his lover, adoring the beauty that is Tatsuya. "Then one Frozen Blue Bacardi it is."

~Owari.

A/N. Hello it's me again. This is my first time doing that *points up*, so cut me some slack. LOL. And... this would probably be my last fic ever. Dunno why... but I'm always having a hard time writing. :| If I feel like it, I'll write some more, but that wouldn't be soon. God bless everyone.

Comments are love.

Oblivious

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 15:06:12 GMT

Title: Oblivious
Pairing: Ueda-centric, one-sided Ryoda
Genre: ANGST. Oh yes. XD
Disclaimer: Me no own.
Summary: Ueda goes on with his feelings for the man he loves, not minding the pain that bombards him everytime. Not at all.
Warning: Sucky angst as usual. :D

Notes: Thanks to mknsen08 for the beta. :D I wrote this just to run away from the thesis I'm currently trying to finish. Nyahaha. I'm such a good student. ♥

Ueda stared at his bandmates and their lovers, having fun playing with each other. Kame and Jin were on the couch, comfortable in each others’ arms; Koki and Maru were goofing around with one another, but the subtle romantic gestures weren’t missed; then there was Junno on the phone, saying his romantic puns to the one on the other end of the line. He stared at them, the envious feeling was lingering and gently stabbing him on the heart. I hope I’ll have my someone, too.

Getting sick—or hurt—of the scenes in front of him, he stood up and walked towards the door. “I’m going out for a while, okay?” He exited the room.

He immediately proceeded to the rooftop, the only place where he felt the solace the he needed. He sat on his usual place, hugging his knees tightly close to his body, while the back of his head rested on the wall behind him. The lingering feeling was taking its toll on him and he couldn’t help himself.

A single tear drop rolled down slowly upon his cheeks, followed by another and then another. They just kept flowing, flowing, flowing. He shut his eyes, squeezing out more of the pain he felt, all the while feeling sorry of himself; he wanted to snap out of it. He really did. But he admitted that he was just too weak to let go—to give up.

Ueda was in the bathroom inside a cubicle, remembering what to say to him and gathering up all the self-confidence and courage he needed. He was finally going to spend time with him, although not alone, but the thought of being casual with him was enough to make his insides swirl. He pimped himself, slapped himself on the cheeks and pumped his fist in the air then muttered a ‘ganbatte’ just for the sake of it. He was about to unlock the door, when he heard a very familiar voice.

“Ne Pi, do you want to know how I’ll confess to Uchi this weekend?”

He let go of the knob, slowly bringing his hand down on his sides. His chest felt heavy and his eyes stung—everything was blurry.

His yet-to-be-given efforts were already futile.

Ueda was boring holes in his own heart; he was just that masochistic. He meets him on the hallways, accepting the occasional hellos that were oblivious to his feelings. Yet he still went on and continued to hurt himself, clutched all what can be still held and threw away the love for his own.

He took a deep breath as he stood up, a sad smile forming on his lips as he prepared himself for another day of suffering... The kind that no one gave him but himself.

I guess I can’t stop loving you.

Merry Christmas everyone. :)

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 17:08:03 GMT

And I bring you a fic. XDD

Title: It's Just Another Christmas
Author: pleu16 Yeah yeah it's me. XD
Pairing: Ryoda
Genre: ANGST. Oh yes. XD
Disclaimer: Me no own.
Summary: It's just another Christmas for Ryo. Nothing special. Nothing at all.
Warning: ANGST. HAHA. ANGST I TELL YOU. Oh btw, it's corny, sappy, and cliche. So all in all, it's sucks. :D

Ryo throws another beer can somewhere in his living room, joining the pile that's been lying there for the past two hours. He sits there miserably on the floor of his living room, his back resting on the sofa. The wall stares back at him, watching him the whole time he was busy being there, drinking his loneliness away.

It's just another Christmas anyway.

He opens another can of beer, and finishes it in one drinking. An image of his ideal Christmas flashes in his mind; by this time, he'd be in bed with his Tatsuya now, whispering Christmas wishes and cuddling with each other. He laughs bitterly at it, then throws the finished tin can together with the others.

~

"Please Tatsuya! I can explain!"

"I don't think you need to, Ryo."

"Just listen to me!"

"Stop it! I-I've seen enough."

"Tatsuya... Please..."

~

It haunts him again, and the pain feels as if it's still fresh. He rests his head on the cushions, and he cries there quietly, his tears smoothly running down his cheeks, not a sob can be heard. No one needs to hear it anyway.

He gets another beer, and continues to drown himself in alcohol and misery.

It's just another Christmas for Ryo.

~Owari~

SEE?! I TOLD YOU IT SUCKS. XDDDD MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAT-CHAN!

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 06:57:04 GMT

AND I'M ALIVE AGAIN! At last, after 43985485 years, I was able to write something again. Hurrah! XD I wrote this last night for Tat-chan's birthday of course... and because I had a sudden spank of inspiration. Yep. :))

But I'm not sure if it's good enough to share, so I'll leave it up to the people who see this, of course, you guys. :)

Title: Love
Pairing: Ryoda
Rating: G
Warnings: Cursing. :)) Oh, and it's unbeta-ed.
Disclaimer: As I said, I own them. And pigs fly.

Summary: Hi, my name is Ueda Tatsuya and I suck at love.

Hi, my name is Ueda Tatsuya and I suck at love.

I think the chain messages I received during my high school days were true- the one that said “Pass this to 10 people or you will have 7 years bad luck in love”. Of course, I laughed at them, but now, I laugh at myself.

After having several one-sided infatuations with other people, I couldn’t help myself but whine “I badly want someone with me right now.”

Someone I could holds hands with, the very least way of connecting ourselves to each other. Someone I could cuddle with, feeling his warmth of his love against my skin. Someone I could hug whenever I feel scared, assurance of being safe surrounding me. Someone I could kiss, to share all the affections that I feel, and accept what he gives back. Someone I could spend the rest of my life with, to do all those things mentioned above (and of course more than that) with so much faithfulness and sincerity.

Is that so much to ask?

And now I’m here, sitting on a chair behind the glass panes of a café near Jimusho, sipping my Caramel Latte slowly, and once again, whining to myself, “I badly want someone with me right now.”

And it’s my birthday today, too. Is that really so much to ask?

I’d like to say that I’m “people-watching”, having nothing to do the rest of the day after all, so it wouldn’t hurt to do literally nothing. In front of me, I see a blue car parked along the sidewalk; the owner is sitting on the driver’s seat with his cellphone on his ear- looks like he was fighting with someone on the other line.

I looked farther to my right, and I see a couple walking towards the gift shop adjacent to the café, holding hands and swaying it back and forth. I frowned at the sight; oh great, I thought sarcastically.

When I shift my face in front of me again, I expected to see the blue car, but instead, a saw very ugly faced scrunched up on the glass, and yes, it startled me.

The person stands up straight, a smirk forming on his lips, and proceeds to come inside the café and sits beside me.

“What are you looking at, fishlips?”

“Shut up, midget.”

Yes, Nishikido Ryo. We’ve been friends (yes, friends) for quite some time, but not close ones. The friendship that we have is kind of sudden, popping out of nowhere. We went out, goofed around, drank a lot, but nothing as intimate. He wasn’t really that mean; I think it was just the immaturity of the age that led us to the “fight”. Now, the insults are just… normal to us. Occasional hugs and gestures and such are shared. But it’s nothing bad, nothing sincere. Just normal.

And “normal” hurts, because I like him. Love him. Need him. Want him.

Oh the cruelness of reality.

Moving on, he orders a Mocha Frap and a slice of blueberry cheesecake for himself. After a few minutes of silence, his order arrives, immediately drinking the Frap until half is left.

“Woah, you sure are thirsty.” I said to him.

“Can’t help it. I love the frap here.” He answers, poking the cake with his fork.

I watch him with uttermost amusement. How cute, I think to myself.

“So anyway, what were you looking at?” He continues while munching on a chunk of cake.

“Nothing in particular.” I answer, drawing imaginary circles on the table.

“You look like you were lost.”

I cock my head to the side. “Not really. More of lonely, actually.” What’s he going at?

“Why?” He asks, finally finish with his cake, and turns to look at me.

Why do you care? “I’m all out of love.” Was my absent-minded reply. Oops.

I hear him choking on his drink, and he starts to laugh. “What did you just say?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh come on,” he playfully slaps my shoulder, “don’t be a cliff-hanger.”

A sigh escapes my lips. “Fine. I just feel unloved.” Especially that the dimwit I love is being a dimwit right now.

“What do you mean unloved?” His eyes are full of curiosity now, seemingly wanting to hear more. “You have your friends.”

“Not that kind of love, stupid.” Yup, a dimwit alright.

He blinks at me for a while. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” I slouch on my seat, a bit disappointed with his monosyllabic answer. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Don’t think like that. Someone around you loves you.” He finally gives a more comprehensible reply, his tone shifting from playfulness to something serious.

Not helping, because it’s not you. “I wouldn’t like to dwell on that. I don’t feel it, therefore I don’t believe it.”

I suddenly feel another hand on mine that was resting on my lap the whole time. It’s Nishikido’s.

“Fuck that, Ueda.”

His eyes are piercing into mine, sending some kind of message that I cannot understand. There’s something present… But what is it?

“Someone NEAR you loves you, you know.” He adds, impatiently, not even a hint of embarrassment on his face.

It’s my turn to blink at him. “Oh.” Really?

“Didn’t you have at least a suspicion of what’s going on?” His fingers are now laced with mine.

It’s the exact thing I’m looking for, and it feels so… right.

“Are you just playing with me, Nishikido?” I ask, a little unsure of what he’s trying to imply.

“No, I’m not.” He answers straight-forwardly. He takes both of my hands now, and I face him now, my legs hanging on the side, my knees bumping onto his.

“Never ever think that you’re unloved, because I’m here.”

~

“What are you typing, Tatsuya?” I heard Ryo asked from the kitchen, along with the clattering of the dishes.

“Oh nothing!” I yelled back, smiling to myself, playing with the necklace he gave me just a while ago. He must be cleaning up right now.

Hello, my name is Ueda Tatsuya, and I just wrote the time that I started to feel love exactly one year from now, with Ryo.

~

SUCKAGE as usual. :) Please tell me if it's good enough to post. The plot is weird... but yeah, I'm weird. :))

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAT-CHAN! :D

Irony Epilogue

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 12:34:55 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3 to RyoDa <3 again.
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst and Fluff. UNBETA-ED! So, forgive the wrong grammar and blaaahs. It's choppy, too. I'm so sorry.
Disclaimer: I OWN THEM!... in my dreams. Boohoo...
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful. But then again...
Chapter Summary: Maybe it won't hurt if he tries again, right?
A/N: Please don't kick me. ;o; I'm so sorry this took a hell lot of time. I was busy with college applications and school stuff. Aaand, please don't kick me if it sucked, because this is not how it was supposed to end, sadly. Anyway, on to the fic.

A/N again : This has been edited, (04/20/2009)

Three months had passed since that happened. Nothing was spoken about it, except for the times Tatsuya had to cry his sadness out on one of his closest friends. He wanted to talk to Ryo, as friends. But when he heard the truth behind everything, he wanted to despise him all of his life.

It turned out that Ryo had feelings for Ohkura before they even got together, but Ryo ignored those feelings because there was Tatsuya in front of him. And when Yamapi told him about “Ryo getting rid of him”, he went away from Yamashita, feeling much very insulted for the fact that he was addressed like an object.

There were times when Ueda would see Ryo who would brush him off like nothing happened between them. Jin said that he was still guilty about what he had done, but Tatsuya didn’t believe him; he thought it was his ego, which always came first. They didn’t talk to each other, and pretended that neither of them existed when they were in one group of friends.

Ueda knew very well that he had to move on, and he tried his best. One time, he asked Jin to help him by stating all the things that will really make him hate Ryo. Jin started off with “he only sees himself, and he won’t care about what would happen to other people”, and Ueda ended up crying, and crying, and crying, and said, “I don’t think I’ll be able to let go…” before he had to fix himself because of the photoshoot they were going to have after.

Despite of that last statement, he still did everything just to forget about Ryo. He immediately deleted all of Ryo’s messages and Ryo’s number and burned the bed sheets they laid on when they made love. He had to let go of the panda, too although he didn’t want to. During the first month that had passed, he treated the stuffed toy as “the Ryo that will love him forever”, but as time went by, seeing the panda hurt him as well. And he ended up giving it to Maru, requesting him to keep it for the mean time.

And now, after those dreadful months, Tatsuya believes that he has moved on. He acts completely fine when Ryo is around and is ignoring Ueda completely, and he just laughs when that topic is brought up by his friends. He is perfectly fine, happy, free, ecstatic.

But that ends in a short while.

Ueda is sitting idly on Jin’s couch as the other members scatter themselves all over Jin’s apartment, celebrating the release of their new album. NEWS is there, too to celebrate the release of their single. Jin thought it’s a good idea to celebrate all together; “The more, the merrier!”, he added.

Tatsuya continues to laugh at his band mates goofing around, but stops when he sees a shadow in front of him. He doesn’t look up though; he’s just some person who got lost and ended up in front of him.

"I seriously don't get why you find it funny. Are you possessed fishlips? Oh wait. Maybe you are."

Ueda furrows his brows in confusion, slowly looks up, and sees… Nishikido in front of him, giving of the smirk that he has. Did he just talk to me? He chooses to ignore him though, and drifts his eyes back to his friends.

“Ora donkey, it’s proper manners to answer when someone is talking to you.”

He DID. He can’t believe what is happening. After those three months, Nishikido was talking to him again! “What do you want, Nishikido?” He asks, finally looking up to the other’s eyes.

But before Ryo could even answer, Maru calls him and gestures Ueda to follow him.

At Jin’s bedroom…

“Ueda! He’s talking to you again!” Maru asks exasperatedly like it has never happened before, and shakes Ueda painfully by the shoulders.

Ueda lets himself be shaken, and replies, “I KNOW! It’s like, what happened!?”

“I should be the one asking you that.” Maru says, before letting go of Ueda.

“Maybe…” He sighs as he continues, “both of us have moved on already.”

Another day starts, and Ueda can’t let go of the fact that Ryo talked to him the other day. Both of us have moved on already. He doesn’t know why, but it was painful when he said that. Yet he ignores that feeling, and continues on with his work. He expects that everything will be normal, him getting used to Ryo not talking to him.

But no, Ryo talks to him again.

And it was the usual, insults.

“Oi fishlips, why do you keep on showing up everywhere I go? You’re stalking me, aren’t you?”

Ueda doesn’t answer; instead, he stares at him…

Then walks passed him.

He doesn’t hear Ryo calling his name as strides away, or maybe he doesn’t want to hear it…

A day turns into a week, then a month, and Ryo is still persistently insulting every time he can. On the other hand, Ueda gets more confused every single time, not knowing what to feel; fear or joy?

In order to organize these confusions, he asks Jin about it.

“Jin, what’s wrong with him?” He asks Jin, who is sitting on his couch, and hands him a cup of hot chocolate. “I don’t get him. He’s not supposed to be talking to me.” He continues before takes the seat beside Akanishi.

“The choco is good~!” Jin comments, and receives a slap on the forehead. “Ow!”

“You’re not answering me properly.”

“It’s because I’m not suppose to say anything about that.” Jin replies, pouting.

“Sucks.” Ueda sighs as he sits back on the couch. “He’s confusing me a lot. And I don’t know why, but I kind of feel happy.” He cocks his head to the side. “I’m supposed to stay neutral. But nooo~ I’M FREAKIN HAPPY.”

“I don’t want you two to hurt yourselves.” Jin suddenly speaks, his expression neutral and the rim of the mug resting on his lower lip.

Tatsuya’s eyes widens as he heard it. “What did you say?”

“Hm?” Jin replies after bringing the mug down on the coffee table. It takes him about 20 seconds to absorb what he said, then covers his mouth when he finally realized it. “I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING!” He shouts out, shifting on his seat.

“No, Akanishi. I heard it loud and clear.” Tatsuya faces his band mate, eyes filled with hope and anxiety. Wait… I’m not happy. I’m just curious. Right, Tatsuya? Right.

Jin sighs in defeat, and says, “Well, he’s planning on doing something. But he won’t tell me.” Then he plays with the rim of his mug.

The rest is a mystery.

After that conversation, Ueda can’t get the thought off his mind. He’s planning something? What is he planning? He’s just interested; he assures himself. He’s not hoping for something nice from that jerk. He’s totally not expecting something happy will happen between them. And he’s so not dreaming about something that is Ryo and him.

Nope, nope. Definitely not.

Not until he reads the note he found on his dresser on a Monday morning.

He went to work early that day to finish some paper work he left the night before. He noticed the note when he was fixing himself on the mirror. His heart skipped a beat when he read the contents.

Tatsuya,

12pm sharp. At the rooftop.

Ryo

And now there stands Tatsuya, tapping his feet on the concrete floor of the rooftop, nervously waiting for the next thing that will happen. He thinks that it’s stupid though; it’s just 11:45am. He sighs in frustration. What am I thinking? He ponders before sitting on the cold floor, hugging his knees close to him.

“Quite early, aren’t we?”

Ueda turns his head, and sees Ryo standing in front of him. He does the same, dusting away dirt from his jeans. “Let’s get this on fast. What do you want?”

Ryo looks at him blankly. “Oooo-kay… I want us to be together again.”

Ueda stares at him, very much shocked by what the other man said. “What?”

Ryo shifts his eyes on the ground, and bites his lower lip as he answers, “I know it’s stupid, and you probably still hate me. But… I really do want us to be together again.”

Tatsuya raises an eyebrow at him. “Then you’ll leave me again after 5 days?”

“No! I promise I won’t. I won’t…”

He rolls his eyes at this. “Huh. Yeah right.You left me once, and you could always do that. AGAIN.” He says, before walking past Nishikido, only to be pulled back again. He doesn’t look back though.

“Look… Please give me a chance. Please…”

Ueda thinks that Ryo is crying already and his heart is actually aching. He ponders for a while, and without thinking, he says:

“Two weeks. If after two weeks you think you’re still on for that ‘let’s get back together’ thing, I’ll think about it.”

And then he escapes.

Ueda Tatsuya, what is wrong with you? Why did you say that?! He rants to himself. He actually succumbed to Nishikido’s sweet talking a while ago. Mentally punching himself, he wonders if Ryo’s telling the truth. Joy and fear both fills him at the same time; Joy, because he might get Ryo again (even though he’s still in denial in that part) and fear, because it might happen again (thus, a sequel).

Come what may, he thinks, and heads on.

1. The next day, he’s not so surprised that a bouquet of roses lying on his dresser. He takes the plain white card that goes with it, and furrows his eyebrows when all he sees was:

“i”

2. The day after, it’s a box of chocolates. There’s another card, and he blinks at it when he says another character. This time:

“s”

3. The third day, he sees a teddy bear next. And thus, another card.

“t”

He’s quite pissed off at the thought of Nishikido not showing is face to him. But when Jin immediately talks about Ryo being in Osaka for two weeks, he feels sad, and he doesn’t know why. Oh well.

4. Next is a heart-shaped pillow, and his face was printed on it. He laughs at the vanity, the typical Ryo. He picks up another card.

“i”

But Ryo should stop leaving things on his dresser. The others are starting to think that Ueda has a stalker already.

5. The day after, there is nothing on his dresser. He is about to panic when-

“Tat-chan! Can I have this plushie? It’s so cuuuute!” Taguchi suddenly appears from behind the sofa, a pig plushie in his arms.

“No. You can’t have it.” Ueda says, and grins when he sees Junno pout.

The other man hands him the plushie, but no card…

“Taguchi-kun, did this have a card with it?” Ueda asks as calmly as possible.

“Umm… Yeah. It’s on your dresser.”

He dashes to his dresser, and spots the card which says:

“l”

I don’t get these letters. Oh well…

6. It’s a pair of fluffy bunny house slippers this time. He eyes it warily, and telepathically slaps Ryo on the forehead, even though it isn’t possible. Jin wants to have that this time, but of course he won’t give it. He keeps the card in his pocket, and the secret letter today is,

“l”

7. He holds a tumbler in his hand; a neon pink colored tumbler which has a “Ryo is Genki” written on it. He sighs, thinking that Ryo might be the vainest person he has ever met.

The card is inside the tumbler, and it reads:

“l”

One week has passed now, and Ueda doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t want to hope that things would go well, still afraid of that happening again. Oh well, come what may, he thinks again, before going to sleep.

8. He looks at himself in the mirror of his dresser, wearing the sweater Ryo gave him. It had a big “I’m Ryo’s fan” embroidered on it, and he refuses to think why he’s wearing it. He takes the card…

“o”

9. He likes this gift, of all the things he gave at this point. It’s a pair of blue socks with a penguin design. He wears it immediately because it was too cute to resist, and because Jin might snag it away. The card now says,

“v”

10. A blue guitar pick this time. It was inside a pink scented envelope (which was sort of weird, he didn’t know Ryo could be like that), along with the card.

“e”

11. It’s not a gift this time. It’s a rose. Just a rose. Not socks, piilows or something. A single red rose, and the card is tied up around the stem…

“y”

12. And another one…

“o”

13. And another one…

“u”

14. It’s a music sheet of Ohkura’s Mamoritai. What’s he planning to say? He thinks to himself, somewhat offended because it’s Ohkura’s work, and he vividly remembers how Ryo ogled at him. But he ignores it, and looks for the card that he expects to be there.

He finds it, and this time, and conveys a complete thought.

“Put them all together.”

Not as complete as it sounds, but as least it’s a complete sentence. Does he mean the letters? Good thing he keeps them all in his wallet. And so he does…

i s t i l l l o v e y o u.

I still love you…

He receives an SMS from Ryo that day, telling him to meet him again at the rooftop, same time as before.

And there he is once again, standing on the cold floor of the rooftop, 15 minutes early. His hands are sweating like mad, anxious of what will happen.

He thinks about it. Maybe it won’t hurt, right? To start again, to love him, welcome him in his life once more… nope, it won’t.

“So… what now?”

He turns to see Nishikido again after two weeks, and he thinks about it again. He somehow proved himself, did his best and all, but… is it worth it?

“I… I’m not sure.” Ueda replies, eyes fanning everywhere except Nishikido.

He isn’t expecting the next thing; Ryo suddenly hugs him tight, his limbs around his waist, and he suddenly misses how it feels to be in his arms. That warmth radiating from his body, and the security that he gives…

“Please let me, hime. I love you, I still do.”

Ueda doesn’t know why, but his eyes tear up when he heard it. He melts in Ryo’s embrace, wrapping his arms around the other’s. Then he realizes one thing…

After all these times…

The pains…

The suffering…

The agony…

“I still love you after all.”

~Owari~

A/N2: I told you it sucked. D: Please don't kick me. D:

Irony Chapter 8b

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:12:38 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3 to RyoDa <3 again.
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst and Fluff.
Disclaimer: I OWN THEM!... in my dreams. Boohoo...
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful. But then again...
Chapter Summary: Ueda's last day, and he heard much from Ryo, about how much he can be an asshole.
A/N: DON'T KICK ME YET PLEASE. D: I still have an epilogue. XD You'll see why after reading. XD Beta-ed by

</a></b></a>miyukaii . Thank you. :D

Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8a

“Tat-chan?” Jin asks confusedly as a giddy Ueda shows up in the dressing room that morning.

“Yeees, Jin?~” Ueda replies in a singsong manner.

Akanishi stares wide-eyed at him, not seeming to believe that he is facing another person. “Are… you okay?”

Ueda sits on a chair in front of the big mirror, before turning to look at his band mate with a big flashy smile. “Of course I am, Jin! Why shouldn’t I be?” He answers back, then darts his eyes on the mirror.

Tatsuya is abnormally happy today; too happy, that is. It feels like sparkles and rainbows are surrounding him everywhere. The manager yells at him in the afternoon, and so did the choreographer, but he bows apologetically with a smile. Everyone is gaping at him, thinking that he must be crazy or some sort, but Ueda ignores them. It goes like that the whole day.

Except later that night.

Ueda walks along the corridors with the glee, as if he’s the happiest man in the world. But his smile turns upside down when someone grabs his wrist from behind, along with the so familiar “Tatsuya… Please listen to me.”

Ueda sighs, thinking of whether to listen to Ryo or not. He feels like he’s ready though, and he speaks up without looking at him. “Fine. Talk.”

Nishikido doesn’t let go of his hand, and talks. “I really did love you, Tatsuya. I wasn’t playing. But… It’s just that…” He sighs, and then continues. “There’s something in me that I suddenly lose interest in the people I like. Please understand that I did try to make this last. I’m so sorry. I still want us to be friends though. Please… I don’t know how to make this sound as sincere as it is.”

Ueda feels Ryo’s grasp tighten, and he tries his best not to let Ryo notice that he’s crying. “My ass Nishikido. The fuck, if you knew back then, then you shouldn’t have done those things. I can’t believe I wasted tears just for this.”

“Please forgive me, Tatsuya. I’m really sorry. Please, let’s still friends.” Nishikido replies as he tries to make Ueda face him, pulling his arm sideways. But Tatsuya doesn’t want to.

Ueda wants to be angry at him, punch him, kick him, and pull his guts out of his body. But no, he couldn’t. Instead, he lets his tears fall, and says, “I guess… it’s okay. I can’t do anything about it, right?”

Ryo gently manoeuvres his arm, making Ueda face him. “Tatsuya…”

Ueda looks at him, with eyes full of sorrow and pain. “It’s okay, Ryo. There’s nothing I can do with that.”

Ueda releases himself from Ryo’s grasp as he turns away from him, his life, his only one, his happiness. But every bit of those is the past now. It’s time to move forward…

And he does, away from him.

“Saa our special guest tonight’s Shounen Club, Ueda Tatsuya of KAT-TUN!” Koyama yells happily, clapping his hands with the microphone in between.

“Hai domo. Ueda Tatsuya desu.” He says as he walks towards the two hosts, and sits in between them.

“Ueda-kun will sing his new solo for us today, right?” Koyama asks cheerfully.

“Yes yes. It’s entitled Ai no Hana. And he composed it himself!” Maru answers back.

“Okay okay Ueda-kun. Stand by onegaishimasu. Please clap your hands for Ueda Tatsuya!”

Ueda stands there at the centre, swaying to the music as the instrumental plays, each note piercing to his heart. Memories of Nishikido suddenly appear out of nowhere; he wants to shove those away, fearful that he might get distracted as he sings. But no, the song won’t let him though.

“Amaoto itsumo no you ni,

kiite ita namida to…”

"Ne Maru, I love him after all."

”ARUBAMU itsumo no you ni,

nagameteta katasumi de hitori…”

"Ne," Nishikido spoke, "do you remember my group messages?"

Tatsuya looked at him quizzically as he refreshed his mind about the said messages. ‘In my heart, there exists never-changing affection for you. It's all yours. The one-and-only "I love you."’. Is he talking about that? "Yes."

"I was talking about you."

“Mata mienai mirai ni obiete iru,
Dareka dakishimete tada aishite hoshii…”

“You should have told me earlier. Because... I feel the same way.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah. Tee-hee… I love you.”

“I love you, too hime.”

“Ai no kakera wo,
Nigedasanu you ni kudakenu you ni ryoute de dakishime,
Konomama kisetsu ga,

toorisugite mo ano yasashisa wa wasurenai…”

“What made you love me?”

“It’s because the world turned the other way around. I mean, suddenly my heart says that all of those insults meant the opposite.”

“Ne Ryo, I’m going to sleep now. I’m tired.”

“Aw ok. Goodnight. Sweet dreams. I love you, hime.”

He could feel tears forming in his eyes as another instrumental plays. He clenches the microphone tight, hoping that they won’t fall.

“Sashikomu hikari ni sukoshi,

memai wo oboete…”

“How are you, princess?”

“I’m fine. But, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Osaka?”

“It’s my day off tomorrow. So I thought I’d go tonight and see you.”

”Watashi wo tsutsumikomu you ni,

yasashiku hanabira ga mau…”

“God, you’re so beautiful, hime.”

“Kono machi no keshiki mo irodori wo kaete,
Adokenai yasashii kaze ga hoho wo naderu…”

“Where are you going?”

“I have to go to work.”

“Can’t you stay?”

“Sora wo miagete,
Ano nani mo nai musuu no kumo ni kokoro ubawarete,
Suzushii hizashi ni,

Terasarete ima sukoshi egao ni nareta ki ga shita…”

“Wait! Jin mentioned it to you, right? The thing about Ryo?”

“You mean that psychological thing Jin was talking about? Yeah.”

“Oh… ok. Please be careful, ne?”

‘Please don’t let that happen…’

“Itsuka futari de aruita sakuramichi de,
Kawaranu omoi to nigirishimeta sono te wa.
Itsumo no egao to itsumo no nukumori,
Nido to toki wa modorenai kara…”

“I really did love you, Tatsuya. I wasn’t playing. But… It’s just that…There’s something in me that I suddenly lose interest in the people I like. Please understand that I did try to make this last. I’m so sorry. I still want us to be friends though. Please… I don’t know how to make this sound as sincere as it is.”

“… I guess… it’s okay. I can’t do anything about it, right?”

He couldn’t help it, and he let his tears roll down his cheeks. It is too painful, too painful to keep it all inside. Ueda loves him, truthfully loves him, but all of those are just wasted.

“Ai no sakura wa,
Kono mune ni chiri keshite nido to wa saku koto wa nai kedo,
Mou ichido itsuka wa ano "michi" wo aruite yuku mata hana wo,
Sakaseru you ni…”

It hurts. It’s too painful to bear…

“Lalalala… Oooh…”

Goodbye, Ryo.

A/N: Please don't kick me... D: There's still an epilogue! :D

Irony Chapter 8a

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:18:40 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3 to RyoDa <3 again.
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst and Fluff.
Disclaimer: I OWN THEM!... in my dreams. Boohoo...
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful. But then again...
Chapter Summary: Ueda's last day, and he heard much from Ryo, about how much he can be an asshole.
A/N: The next part is coming up ne? I'm sorry. D: Beta-ed by

miyukaii . Thank you. :D

Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7

“I don’t know what to think anymore, Jin. It’s tearing me apart.” Ueda said, clutching the nearest cushion, as Jin handed him another sheet of tissue paper. They have been sitting on Ueda’s couch for nearly an hour, talking about what was happening now. Jin didn’t mind; he wanted to help his friend anyway.

“Don’t worry Tat-chan. I’m here to help.” Jin comforted, rubbing Ueda’s back.

Tatsuya sighed before answering, “I’d like to think that he’s just tired and busy and all. But…” He said, before crying once again, burying his face in his palms.

“Tat-chan, stop crying now. I’ll talk to him, okay?”

Ueda sat up straight with his hands resting on his thighs, trying to stop himself from crying. The older man looked at Jin with pleading eyes and asked, “You will?”

Jin nodded, a tiny smile formed on his lips. “Yeah I will.”

“Thank you.” Ueda whispered before crying himself to sleep on the armrest.

Day five – the last

It was evening already and work had ended, the others going out for dinner. Ueda didn’t go with them since he wasn’t in the mood. Maru offered company though but Ueda insisted that Maru should just eat with them. He’ll be fine by himself.

And so at that moment, Ueda sat quietly on the couch inside KAT-TUN’s dressing room alone, contemplating about what was currently happening. Ryo wasn’t replying to his messages, answering his phone calls, nor talking to him in person. He wasn’t showing his face to him at all. Tatsuya was worried already, so worried that he’d kill anyone just to find out what was wrong.

Maybe I should talk to him. He thought to himself before standing and making his way outside. His heart was beating fast, and was about to explode when he reached the NEWS dressing room. The big sign was in front of him then, and he was about to knock, but the screaming voices made him stop.

“Ryo! What the heck is wrong with you? Ueda-kun’s worried about you!”

Yamashita-kun? And Ryo? Eavesdropping was a bad thing to do but he had to hear Ryo’s side; he stuck his ear onto the door and tried his best to make any sound.

“PUT DOWN THAT FREAKIN MAGAZINE AND ANSWER ME, NISHIKIDO!”

“What do you want?

“Why aren’t you talking to Ueda-kun? He’s so worried about you!”

“Oh I see.”

Ueda’s world stopped turning, his chest feeling heavier and heavier every second. ‘Oh I see’? That’s it?

“What? So you’re totally ok with that?”

“With what?”

“That! You don’t seem to care!”

“Oh. I never knew.”

Ueda was close to tears at that moment, but he was trying his best not cry. He was in the corridor after all, but still…

“Are you avoiding him?”

“Or maybe something else.”

“And that something else is?”

“I absolutely have no idea.”

Breathing normally was hard to do right then, not knowing what to feel; anger or pain? Probably both.

“Ryo, this is pathetic! YOU are pathetic!”

And…Did Ryo just…laugh?

Ueda was getting weak at his knees; trying his very best to keep himself standing. His heart was aching, pleading. What’s happening?

“Dude, just so you know, he’s worried like sick. I think you should at least say ‘hi’! Don’t get pissed at me right now. I’m just trying to help.”

“Hoo hum…How to lose a guy in 5 days…”

Reaching his limit, he collapsed on the floor, knees folded underneath him, his forehead resting on the plank of wood. His tears gave up, too, thus freely falling from his eyes. The heavens turned its back on him; he was sure.

“What? You know what? I give up. You do this on your own. And you better not regret anything.”

“I’m not.”

“So you were just playing all along? You keep on loosing interest on the things you get! Just like a manwhore!”

“I wasn’t playing. I wanted this to last, but it just wouldn’t!”

“You mean you don’t want to.”

“No…”

“Tat-chan!” Someone shouted out of nowhere, the voice obviously not from the room. Ueda saw Jin running towards him. “Tat-chan? What’s wrong?”

The door suddenly opened, revealing Yamapi and Ryo, whose eyes darted below him, seeing Ueda crying on the floor.

Ryo’s eyes widened at the sight. “Hime, let me explain…”

“No Ryo,” He said as he stood up and looked at Ryo with puffy eyes. “I think I’ve heard enough.”

And with that, he ran away from them, ignoring the sound of Ryo’s voice calling out to him to stop and listen. It was too much for him to handle; those sweet words then turned poisonous, those warm touches became ice cold, and the heavenly days transported to hell. It was just too much.

He drove as fast as he could, dreading to run away from all this agony, pain, suffering. Thankfully reaching his apartment fast, he immediately ran to his bedroom, throwing himself on the bed and burying his face onto a pillow. Tears soaked the cushion fast and sobs echoed inside the room.

“Tatsuya! Listen to me! Please!” He heard Ryo’s faint voice, along with the banging of the front door. “Hime! Please open the door!”

Hearing the nickname made him want to kill Ryo, eyes tightening shut. So he still has the nerve to call me that? What a jerk!

“Hime! Please!”

Stop it.

“Let me explain!”

I’ve heard enough.

“I never played with you! My feelings were true! Please believe me!”

“Shut up, Nishikido! Don’t show your face to me again! EVER!” Ueda shouted his loudest, lifting his head from the pillow.

“Hime, I’m sorry!”

“You don’t have the right to call by that name! Leave me alone!”

“But-”

“NO!”

Silence reigned inside the household, the room becoming a world of dystopia. Hearts that were one now shattered into a million pieces, scattered all over unreachable places; the possibility of these sewed once more was negative. The heartbroken one laid there helpless, cries of anguish building up in his chest, and cried himself to sleep.

2:00 AM

Ueda woke up, cheeks stained and eyes red. He didn’t want to think of anything right now; his mind gave up on him moments ago. He weakly sat up, staring blankly into space and subconsciously looked for his cell phone.

4 unread messages, the screen read. A sigh came out of his lips before pressing the appropriate button.

1:20 AM

Tat-chan! I’m so sorry for what happened! I should have stopped him before he even started. D: Pi and I are talking to him right now. And…I think you should really talk to him. He’s crying right now. Well, if you’re ok with that… Tat-chan, please be well. –Jin

1:25 AM

Ueda-kun, it’s me Yamapi. We’re mad at him right now. We’re definitely siding with you. I know you’re hurting, but I hope you’ll get over this soon. Jin and I will help you. Jya ne. –Yamapi

1:45 AM

Ueda! I heard it from Jin-kun. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. Remember that. –Nakamaru

1:59 AM

Tatsuya, I know you don't want to talk to me right now,…

No. He didn’t want to read that at that moment. Tears were starting to appear on his eyes again, and he was trying his best not to let them fall. He slowly stood up from the bed, cell phone still in hand, and walked his way to the kitchen, getting a glass of water to ease the sting of his throat from all the crying.

Ueda dragged his feet to the living room after, his body falling heavily on the couch. He breathed deeply, gathering all the strength he had left in him. Blissful memories haunted him, but he did his best to fight them all.

Now, he was ready.

Part B is right here. :D

A/N:Well, if I finish the whole chapter right away, it would take to long, and I'll feel guilty. So yeah. :D
Someone make me a RyoChulDa smut fic. XDD

Irony Chapter 7

Fri, 23 May 2008 13:44:38 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3 to RyoDa <3 again.
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst and Fluff.
Disclaimer: I OWN THEM!... in my dreams. Boohoo...
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful. But then again...
Chapter Summary: The 3rd and 4th day of Ryo and Ueda, and they went to Disneyland~~ XD
A/N: I'm such a slow updater ,am I? XD I'm so sorry! XD I get so... OC about this kind of stuff. Wah. 1 more chapter and an epilogue, and the fic is already done. :)

Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6

Day three – First and last date

The alarm woke Ueda up, and the clock screamed 7:00 AM. He groaned as opened his eyes, and immediately turned off the stupid object. He looked to the other side, and saw that his lover was still sleeping, an arm of his wrapped around his waist protectively. Seeing Ryo like this made him smile, brushing of that strand of hair that was on his eye.

Sitting up on the edge of the bed, he was about to prepare himself for work but the arm on his waist tugged strong enough to hold him down.

“Where are you going?” Ryo said sleepily.

Ueda looked over his shoulder and replied, “I have to go to work.” He attempted to stand, but Nishikido was persistent.

“Can’t you stay?”

Ryo’s eyes were pleading, begging him to stay. Ueda bit his lip and pondered, then grabbed his cell phone from the bedside drawer.

“Moshi moshi? Maru, please tell the manager that I can’t go to work today. I’m not feeling well.” He said, faking a cough. “Tell him I’m sorry, too. Mn. Mn. Hai. Thanks. Jya.” He flipped his phone close, then sighed as he laid on the bed again.

Tatsuya darted his eyes to the side, and damn Ryo was attempting to look like a cute grateful kid with an irresistibly adorable smile, which he was able to pull off successfully. Forcing himself not to give in to him, he glared daggers to the other. “Doesn’t suit you, Nishikido.”

Ryo’s smile turned into a frown. “Shut up, woman.”

“Midget.”

“Fishlips.”

“Shortman.” Ueda got a light punch in return. He glared at Ryo, and Ryo did, too…

Then they laughed at each other.

The two cuddle each other after, Ueda’s head resting on Ryo’s chest, whose arms are around Tatsuya’s shoulders. Body heat was shared, warmth radiating from their bodies.

“Let’s stay like this a bit longer, ok?” Ryo asked, stroking Tatsuya’s hair that he can reach.

“Mmkay…” He replied, snuggling closer to Ryo, and before they knew it, they fell asleep again.

It was already 11:05 AM; the sunrays escaping through the curtains woke Ueda. He opened his eyes, and abruptly sat up when he noticed that Nishikido wasn’t beside him.

“Where is he?” He mumbled to himself, as he stood up from the bed. He snatched a shirt and sweats from the closet and quickly wore them before getting out of the room.

He scanned his eyes throughout the living room, the balcony, and wherever, but no signs of Nishikido. The clanging sound of plates caught his attention, then immediately walked towards the direction of the said sound.

The first thing he saw was plates and utensils on the table. Second were plastic containers with food on the counter. And the last was Nishikido bending by the opened refrigerator. “What are you doing there, Ryo?” He asked, head cocked on the side.

“What do you think I’m doing?” The other replied, looking over his shoulder at Ueda.

Tatsuya just snickered, and then sat on a chair by the dining table. Ryo followed, bringing the food and a transparent pitcher of tea along.

“I bought food while you were sleeping.” Nishikido started, pouring tea on both of their glasses.

“You could’ve woke me up, too. So we could buy it together.” He replied, putting food on his plate, then passing the container to Ryo.

“Well, you were sleeping soundly. I can’t just disturb you like that.” Ryo answered back, settling the object on the tabletop.

“Oh… ok.” He smiled and started eating.

“So… where do you want to go?” Ryo asked with food still on his mouth.

“Don’t talk when your mouth is full, dear.” He joked, earning a glare from his boyfriend. “Well, I really don’t have any idea. How about you?”

“Same here.”

They ate in silence, both thinking of where to go. Ryo was first to think of were to go, and asked:

“Wanna go to Disneyland?”

Their most unforgettable experiences

~Space Mountain – the most comically romantic roller coaster ride~

“Ryo, why are you shaking like that?” Ueda asked, watching Ryo tap his foot madly as they stood in line, waiting for their turn to ride. He didn’t receive an answer though, and just smirked. “Are you scared?”

“Scared?!” Ryo asked, laughing nervously, his forehead glistening with sweat. “Who says I’m scared?!”

Ueda scoffed at his denial, and proceeded to the unoccupied cart. Ryo followed him and sat beside each other, buckling themselves up for safety.

Tatsuya was pretty much confused during the whole ride; confused about why his boyfriend was scared although he was pretty much sure that he went there with Yamapi and Shirota. Riding it for the second time wouldn’t be that scary, or maybe it wasn’t his second time… The other thing that was confusing him was the fact that Ryo was holding onto his hand tightly the whole time, not just during sudden turns and shifts. But what the hell, he thought; he enjoyed himself anyway.

~The Teacups – makes your world go around, along with love~

“Don’t make it turn too much Ryo! You’ll mess up my hair!”

“Stop being a girl for a sec for Christ’s sake!”

“Ryo! I said don’t! Hey!!”

And Ryo did, turning the wheel as powerful as he can, their bodies giving into the momentum, swaying with the movement of the teacup…

Thus, definitely messing up Ueda’s hair.

“Now look what you’ve done!” Ueda said angrily, throwing his hands in the air, while Ryo just stared at him, who rested his weight on a hand holding onto the rails that surrounds the whole ride. Tatsuya pouted, watching him gaze at his eyes, a smile formed on his lips.

Ryo just laughed at him, and pulled his hand gently. “Come on. Let’s fix your hair.”

~Fantasy Land – sarcasm and harsh comments shared~

They sat side by side on a bench along the paved road of the so-called Fantasy Land, a part of the whole establishment where you can meet your favourite Disney character in flesh and take pictures. The two stared at the kids in the other side falling in line, taking turns in taking a photo together with Snow White.

“I don’t like her.” Ueda started.

“Why?” Ryo asked curiously, turning his head a bit to look at the other.

“She’s so sissy! I mean, WHO MAKES FRIENDS WITH ANIMALS?”

“Says the one who’s sissy-er.” Ryo replied, earning a death glare from Tatsuya. “Chill hime! It’s just a fairytale.”

“But still!” Ueda gave up, crossing his arms on his chest and pouted. Ryo just laughed at him, but stopped when he saw someone he hated.

“I don’t like her.” Ryo said, pointing at Cinderella who was standing a few meters away from Snow White, a line in front of her also.

“Why is that?” Ueda asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“She could have just shouted at her step mother and sisters. But no! She let herself be shitted on just like that. If I were her, I’d pull out their intestines and feed it to wolves.”

“Ryo, she’s simple-minded. You can’t do anything about that. Besides, she’s too kind to think about those kinds of things.”

“That’s the problem! She’s too kind!”

Ueda laughed at a sudden realization, earning a glare from Ryo. “Since when did you care for Cinderella?”

Nishikido opened his mouth to say something, but just kept quiet and sat back. Both of them stayed silent, and watched the scene in front of them, which was Belle walking with an assistant behind her, and the two of them shivered exaggeratedly in disgust at the same time after seeing that big nose, thick make-up, the forced smile, and the animated gestures she was doing.

“Ew.” They both commented.

~The Fireworks display-makes you mushy all over~

“I’m getting impatient already.” Ueda complained, tapping his foot on the pavement in annoyance. They were standing somewhere in front of the big castle, where the fireworks display was going to take event. Ueda was excited at, at first. But now, just standing there for 10 minutes definitely wiped out his excitement, and was replaced by impatience instead.

“It’s gonna start soon.” Ryo replied, scratching his head for the nth time in irritation. Just in time though; the lights gradually dimmed, making the whole place pitch black.

The night sky was suddenly painted with beautiful flashes of light as they stood there in awe. The background music wasn’t helping, and it added more of those goose pimples on their skins.

“A Whole New World” was playing, and Ueda couldn’t help himself but hold Ryo’s hand, thinking that nobody would see them since they had all their eyes on the display.

Ryo was jolted slightly, surprised at his lover’s action, and shifted his eyes on their hands, then on Tatsuya’s face, which had a playful expression on it. Ryo smiled, and continued on watching the show, squeezing gently on the other’s hand as he did.

There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

They fell tiredly on the bed, bodies aching from all that walking and all. All Tatsuya wanted was to sleep, sleep and sleep, not even minding to change his clothes. He buried his face on the pillow, lying on his stomach and attempted to do so, but the hand crawling up his back won’t let him, making him roll his shoulder in the tingling feeling.

“Ryo… stop it.” He whined, words muffled by the pillow.

“Come on. Please?” Ryo asked, insisting, the hand still caressing.

“Nooo… I’m tired.” Ueda shifted on his side, so now his back was facing Nishikido, hoping that the gesture was enough to make him stop. But the strong tug on his shoulder said otherwise, and then all he saw was Ryo’s smirking face. He wanted to shove him away, but the grip on his upper arms and that body straddling him wouldn’t let him at all.

“Don’t worry. I’ll do all the work. I just want you now.”

Well, since he’ll pretty much all the dirty work (literally dirty), maybe it wouldn’t be a bother. After all, he would still be able to relax, right?

Day four – It’s near

Once again, the annoying alarm clock woke Tatsuya, the man lazily pushing the button to turn it off, not even bothering to open his eyes. He laid flat on the bed again, and turned to his side shortly after, expecting to see Nishikido beside him.

He slowly opened his eyes, but there was no Nishikido; only an empty space.

Sitting abruptly, he continued to stare at that empty space, his eyebrows meeting half-way in confusing. “Now where did he go?” He mumbled to himself, before standing up and retrieving his boxers on the floor. Thinking that he might be in the kitchen again, he hurriedly went out of the room to the kitchen, only to see, once again, empty space.

He scratched his head in desperation. “I wonder…”

Ueda went back to his room and sat on the bed, and grabbed his cell phone from the bedside drawer. He was expecting a message or something, but none. Sighing in defeat, he just stalked to the bathroom and showered. Maybe he’s at work.

As soon as he reached jimusho, he immediately ran towards the NEWS dressing room, hoping to see his boyfriend there. He had a paper bag in hand with a stuffed penguin inside, wanting to give it to Ryo in exchange for the panda the man gave him. Clutching it tightly in hand, he stood in front of the dressing room door and knocked.

“Oh! Hi Ueda-kun!” It was Yamapi who answered the door, sucking on a lollipop.

“Hi Yamashita-kun.” He greeted with a bow. “Is Ryo there?”

“Not yet. He’ll be here in the afternoon.”

Disappointment was apparent in Ueda’s face. “Oh… Um… could you just give this to him? We have a shooting later.” He said, handing the paper bag to Yamapi, who nodded and took it.

“Thank you.” Ueda thanked, and was about to go when Tomohisa stopped him.

“Wait!” He called, making the other turn to him. “Jin mentioned it to you, right? The thing about Ryo?”

“You mean that psychological thing Jin was talking about? Yeah.”

“Oh… ok. Please be careful, ne?”

Tatsuya nodded in reply, and watched the other slowly close the door. Please don’t let that happen…

It was only later that evening when he finally saw Ryo. It was about to turn 7:30 when he spotted Ryo walking from the entrance of the building, while was about to go out. Thankfully there was no one else there, so he ran to him, and when he doubted that the other will notice him, he called out. “Ryo!”

NIshikido stopped in his tracks, and turned to the direction of the voice. “Oh. Hi Tatsuya.”

Ueda was now in front of him, somewhat panting. “Hey. Why didn’t tell me where you were going this morning?”

“Oh… that. Sorry. My manager called me and, poof.”

He examined Ryo’s expression, and it was blank. Emotionless. Not what he was expecting from his boyfriend, which was Ryo being happy to see him. His chest suddenly began to feel a little heavy, the though making him sad. “Okay… did you receive the thing from Yamashita-kun yet?”

“Yup. He gave it to me when we ate together a while ago. Thanks.”

This is getting painfully weird. “Sure thing.” He gulped. “Are you coming over later?”

“I can’t. I don’t think I’ll be finishing early tonight. So don’t wait for me.”

“Oh ok. So… I’ll just see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Jya.”

“See you.” He replied, watching Ryo disappear into one of the elevators. His heart was aching, tears starting to form in his eyes. It was shallow of him to be like that just because of that, he knew, but he couldn’t help but feel hurt. They were nothing like lovers then. Even though the relationship was a secret, he could have at least shown some interest or anything, right? No one was watching anyway…

He didn’t know what to think anymore. Getting his phone from his pocket, he dialled Jin’s number, patiently waiting for him to answer.

“Hello? Jin? Are you free tonight? I need to talk to you. No, I’m not ok. Could you go to my apartment? Ok. Mmn… Thank you. See you later.”

He flipped it close, and went out of the building with a heavy heart.

Irony Chapter 6

Fri, 09 May 2008 16:56:00 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3 to RyoDa <3 again.
Rating: PG-13 (for language), this chapter is NC-17 *gulps*
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst and Fluff.
Disclaimer: I OWN THEM!... in my dreams. Boohoo...
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful. But then again...
Chapter Summary: The first 2 days of Ryo and Ueda as a couple.
A/N: Waah. Updated finally! I had a hard time writing this. :O And thank you very much to

miyukaii for beta-ing and helping. Dear, I love you so much. XDD

A/N2. This has been edited. (04/20/2009)

Ueda quickly ran after him but seeing the hallway empty, he walked back to his apartment, disappointment and happiness written on his face at the same time. I can't believe it.

He thought hard of what to do. And since he loved his cell phone so much (which was the first thing that popped in his mind during that particular situation), he ran fast to his bedroom and got hold of the device. He couldn't let go of that smile while typing, since it was simply a dream come true.

You should have told me earlier. Because... I feel the same way. -Ueda Tatsuya

Send.

Beep. He excitedly flipped his phone open and smiled how adorable the other can be.

Really? - Nishikido Ryo

Yeah. Tee-hee... I love you. -Ueda Tatsuya

I love you too, hime. -Ryo

And he could have just died at that moment. But another beep from his cellphone did not permit him to do so.

So, what are we now? -Ryo

Umm... I guess we're dating then. -Tatsuya

Yokatta.

I love you, hime. -Ryo

You just said that a while ago. But anyway, I love you too, Ryo. -Tatsuya

Ueda was in tears. He never thought that he'd have this conversation with Nishikido Ryo, the person he hated so much during his junior days, now the person he loved as much as he despised him then. He couldn't be happier now that he had someone to share his life with.

Or not.

~~~~~

"Tat-chan!" was the first thing that greeted him as he entered the KAT-TUN dressing room. The second was Akanishi glomping him like they hadn't seen each other for years. "Soooo, you're Ryo-chan's boyfriend already, huuuh?"

Ueda slapped his friend's forehead hard, making the other massage it to ease the sting. "Keep that down, will you? He told about that matter, right?" Unfortunately, as much as he wanted to share his happiness with his friends, Nishikido asked him to keep their relationship a secret first. Only close friends should know (i.e. in Ryo's case, Jin, Pi, Toma, and in Ueda's case, Maru) about it. He didn't really know the reason behind it but he agreed to what the other wished for.

"But Tat-chan..." He withdrew his arms from the said boy and looked at him in the eyes, the mood changing to a serious one. "Be careful."

Ueda cocked his head to the side, not seeming to understand what Jin was trying to say.

Jin just sighed, and a small smile formed in his lips. "You see, he has this... hmm, How should I call it?" He said, his thumb rubbing his chin lightly. "Psychological thing? Yup. He has this psychological thing in him, that if he gets something he wants, he gets tired of it easily. He is very persistent on taking them for himself, but when he gets tired he throws them away like a used ragged doll. So be careful, please." He patted Ueda's shoulder before turning away then left.

Tatsuya stared at the floor as he tried to process Jin's words in his mind.

‘No, I trust Ryo. He won’t do that to me.’ He thought, before proceeding to do the work needed for that day.

Day one: Confessions

Ueda spent the night alone sitting on his sofa, watching television with his cell phone instead of the remote control in his hand. He sent an SMS to Ryo, who was currently in Osaka, a while ago telling him to send a message as soon as he's done with work. It's been an hour since he hollered, and he just sighed in defeat.

"He seems busy." He mumbled to himself as he settled his cell phone on table, only to be stopped by a beep.

He quickly withdrew his hand and looked at the screen closely, and smiled widely. “It's him!” he exclaimed.

Hey Tat-chan. Sorry for being late. It was hell. What were you doing? - Ryo.

It's ok. Me? Nothing much. You? – Tatsuya

I just got home. – Ryo

He’s a one question-one answer person ne… Ueda thought along with what to answer back.

Beep. Eh?

Can I ask you something? – Ryo

He raised his eyebrows at this.

What is it? – Tatsuya

What made you love me? -Ryo

His eyes widened in surprise, not expecting such a question from his boyfriend. He thought hard though, but he couldn’t come up with a concise answer.

Well, I think I’ll stick to the “The more you hate, the more you love” thing. :p -Tatsuya

Oh come on. - Ryo

He giggled, thinking to himself that his answer was absurd.

It’s sort of true, though. I used to say to myself that I hate you. With those insults and all. Then came the day that you weren’t around and I felt like my day was incomplete. Then everything followed. Funny, ne? -Tatsuya

… Now that I think about it, I must have been really mean. Sorry. –Ryo

Tatsuya smiled at his sincerity.

It’s ok. It’s the past already. Let’s just face the future together, ne? ^^ -Tatsuya

That was sissy, hime. –Ryo

His smile turned upside down, and he could sense that the bastard he was talking to was smirking at that very moment. Shut up, moron. What about you? -Tatsuya

What about me? -Ryo

What made you love me? –Tatsuya

It’s because the world turned the other way around.

I mean, suddenly my heart says that all of those insults meant the opposite. –Ryo

That’s sissy, Ryo. –Tatsuya

That’s my line. –Ryo

Ueda laughed out loud, very much amused with the conversation. But as much as he wanted to continue, sleepiness took toll on him, and he yawned.

Ne Ryo, I’m going to sleep now. I’m tired. –Tatsuya

Aw ok. Goodnight. Sweet dreams. I love you, hime. –Ryo

You’re so cheesy, ne? :p Anyway, goodnight. I love you, too. –Tatsuya

And he dreamed of Ryo that night.

Day Two: I Wanna Love You

Ueda came to work smiling which freaked the juniors out because he was beaming the whole morning. He greeted everyone (as in EVERYONE) he met along the corridors, flashing more of those shiny teeth, nearly blinding all of those who looked. And it freaked KAT-TN the most, since they spent the morning with him.

“Tat-chan’s seems too happy today, ne?” Kame mumbled to Koki who just nodded, both in front of the mirror in the KAT-TUN dressing room.

The said man was on the couch, flipping the pages of a magazine, still smiling. Nakamaru was sitting beside him, staring at him like he wasn’t the Ueda he used to know. “What happened last night?” He asked, “You seem happy.”

“Hm?” Ueda looked at him cheerfully. “Well, I had a really really nice evening. That’s all.”

“Did he talk to you?”

“Yeah. Thru SMS though. But it’s ok. He was soooo sweet.” Tatsuya replied, smiling like a schoolgirl who was in-loved.

Beep.

He fished out his cell phone from his pocket and immediately flipped it open. His smile became wider when he saw who the sender was.

“Maru! It’s him!” Ueda whispered to his friend, bouncing up and down on his seat. Nakamaru just smiled awkwardly.

Hey Tat-chan. We’re taking a break right now. Are you busy? –Ryo

Not really. We still have a few more minutes before we start rehearsing again. –Tatsuya.

They started to talk about random things: The weather, Ryo’s hair, the juniors, the both of them going crack, anything. And when they say anything, it means anything, including this…

Ne Tat-chan, is this song familiar to you? The song that goes ‘I see you whining and grindin up on that pole’… that song? –Ryo

Ueda raised an eyebrow at the question. Yeah. Why? What about it? –Tatsuya

Well… I think it would be nice if you sing me that song, only using opposite pronouns. You know, the ‘I’s become ‘you’s. –Ryo

His forehead scrunched up as he sang it in his head. You see me whinin and grindin up on that pole. You know I see you looking at me everywhere and I already know, you wanna… Ueda snorted at this, getting slightly turned on at the same time. Like hell I’d let you fuck me, Nishikido. –Tatsuya

Let’s see about that, princess. I’m definitely dominant in this relationship. –Ryo

Yeah right. But I’ll have to see that some other time. We’re rehearsing again. See yah love. –Tatsuya

The hell you’d see it. See you, too my sissy GIRLfriend. –Ryo

Ueda was still smiling on the drive home, only this time, it was a bit perverted. The Ryo-made version of that certain song was floating inside his head, and it never failed to make him giggle. Pervert Ryo.

Fiddling with his house keys, he walked his way to his door, carefully inserting the object and opening it. Expecting usual things inside his house, his eyes opened wide when he saw something unusual, or someone, sitting on his couch like he owns it.

“How are you, princess?”

Tatsuya closed the door and stepped in further, watching Ryo stand and walk towards him, the two meeting in the middle of the living room. Ryo held Ueda’s face and leaned forward, pressing his lips on the princess’s, softly and gently. Our first unadulterated kiss… haha...

Ueda smiled as the other pulled away, not withdrawing his hands. He grasped them with his own and replied, “I’m fine. But, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Osaka?”

“It’s my day off tomorrow. So I thought I’d go tonight and see you.” He answered, staring at Tatsuya’s brown orbs and a sadistic grin on his lips. “I wanted to prove myself a little early too.”

He stared back at Ryo’s eyes with his confused ones. “What do you mean?”

Ryo slid his hands from his neck down to his thin waist, pulling Tatsuya closer. He leaned forward until his breath reaches the other’s ear, and whispered, “You mean you forgot about our little conversation this morning?”

“Of course not.” He answered, shivering at the feeling of Ryo breathing against his skin, and moaned when he nibbled on his earlobe.

“Good.” Ryo said, clutching Ueda’s shoulder and pushed him to the floor not so gently, making the poor one whimper in pain.

“What the heck was that for, Nishikido?!” He shouted, glaring at him. And Ryo just smirked at him.

And the next thing he knew was Ryo was on top of him, pinning his hands over his head, the other’s weight pressing him on the floor. With one last look, he finally captured Ueda’s lips in a fierce kiss, biting and sucking painfully on his lower lip. He traced it with his tongue slowly, as if trying to soothe the stinging pain, making the other feel the sensations more vividly.

Ueda moaned, parting his mouth which gave Ryo the chance to slip his tongue in, exploring every cavern of that hot interior. He did the same but less aggressive than what Ryo was doing. Their tongues intertwined, fighting for dominance, a fight where Ryo won. Fine, you win. Ueda thought to himself, feeling Ryo releasing his hands and sneaking one of his own under the shirt, caressing that soft skin that lies under there, and the other caressing Ueda’s neck.

“Uh… Ryo, don’t you think we’re going to fast? I mean we just got together.” Tatsuya asked breathily, clutching the other’s shoulders tightly as Nishikido’s hand roamed all over his chest.

“I don’t think so. I love you, isn’t that enough reason for us to do it?” He answered, lips against Ueda’s neck, sucking the milky expanse of Ueda’s neck in a not so gentle way.

‘That is going to leave marks.’ Ueda thought.

“Nnh… Then can we do this somewhere that’s not as hard as the floor? I’d rather have this somewhere softerl you know.”

With one last lick on that spot he was busy with, Ryo kneeled and swept his arms under Ueda’s body, carrying him bridal style as he stood up, making Ueda encircle his arms around Ryo’s neck so as not to fall.

Nishikido literally threw Tatsuya on the bed when they reached his room. The other just watched him strip off his clothes, removing his boxers last, and Tatsuya had to comment.

“Calvin Klein? Cheap. Dolce and Gabbana is way better.”

“Shut up and strip. Or do you want me to do it for you?” He exclaimed before quickly discarding his underwear then hungrily tearing Ueda’s clothes, tossing them across the room, then hovered above Tatsuya’s naked figure.

“God, you’re so beautiful, hime.” He said, before kissing Ueda roughly once again, moulding his sides harshly. His mouth moved to Ueda’s ear, his jaw, his neck, chest, stomach, leaving bite marks here and there. Hands were travelling upwards, brushing lightly over a nipple. He suddenly tweaked it hard, making the other gasp out loud in pleasure and pain alike, and then traced circles on the areole with a finger to soothe while sucking on a spot on Ueda’s hip.

Ueda closed his eyes, not seeming to take the sensations running all over his body. Feeling warm air somewhere near his erection, he propped himself up on his elbows and decided to watch his boyfriend, only to see Ryo breathing on his cock with a dangerously lustful expression in his eyes, turning him on ever more. “Ryo…” He whimpered, his elbows giving up on him, making him lie flat on the bed again.

Nishikido hungrily his shaft and sucked on the tip, earning a soft cry from the other man. He looked up and met Ueda’s gaze, then smirked. “I’m going to make you scream, Tatsuya. I’m going to make you beg for more.” He said continuing to suck the tip of Ueda’s shaft, holding its base before pumping his fists up and down.

With that, Ueda screamed as he clutched the sheets tight, very much pleasured by Ryo, who was now bobbing his mouth up and down on his erection. Then he felt something poke his entrance, and a breathless high-pitched cry escaped from his lips as he felt Ryo’s finger, plunge inside of him. “Ryo~!”

Ryo halted his actions and gazed at Ueda, adding another finger and earning another one of those cries. “God, you squeal like a girl.” He pushed his fingers hard and hit that spot successfully, making the other one of those high-pitched girly sounds, and said darkly, “And I like it.”

“The least you could’ve done was use some lube. I have dance rehearsals tomorrow and I’m going to be limping because of this.” Ueda said, gritting his teeth.

“They won’t notice. You seem to be limping when you dance anyway. It won’t make any difference.”

“Bastard.” Ueda muttered.

Ryo smirked at him in response.

Ueda was breathing in short pants as Ryo continued to stretch him with his fingers, brushing over and over his prostate, seeing stars as he tried to shove away the thought of pain. When Ryo added another finger, his screams escalated to a much higher octave.

“Wait.” Ryo said as he stopped what he was doing and stood up, eyeing his jeans on the floor. He picked it up, and got something inside the pocket, which was a tube of lubricant. He walked back to the bed, settling himself on his knees between Ueda’s spread legs, and uncapped it, and was about to put some on his palm when Tatsuya stopped him, grabbing his hand before he could even do anything.

“Let me do it.” Tatsuya said, his voice husky, sitting up and snatching the lube from Ryo’s grasp, and began to put a generous amount on his hand. Slowly, he massaged Nishikido’s cock and spread the lube all over, making the other groan in pleasure.

Looking dangerously at him, Nishikido pushed Ueda back on the bed, lifting his knees apart. “Tell me if it hurts.” He said before easing his cock inside Tatsuya slowly and as gently as possible, his eyes glued on the other’s face, waiting for him to relax. As soon as the distortion of his expression was gone, he began to move softly, filling the other smoothly, deeper and deeper. And when he heard Tatsuya moan, he smirked.

“What do you want, Tatsuya?”

“I’m not going to beg for it.” Ueda said.

Ryo halted his thrusts and looked at Ueda.

“Tell me.”

Ueda cannot take Ryo’s teasing any longer. Ryo’s shaft was hovering teasingly above his entrance, teasing him to the brink of insanity.

“Just, please Ryo, fill me up.”

“I didn’t hear you.”

“Put it in me, please.”

“Still can’t hear you, hime.”

Ueda gulped.

“Ryo,” he said looking at the man hovering above him. He raised his head a little higher, aligning his lips to the man’s ear then nibbled on it.

“Fuck me…” he whispered softly and seductively.

Ryo’s eyes widened at Ueda’s statement.

“Fuck me…I want it hard and fast.” Ueda added.

All control that Ryo had snapped and thrust his hips hard. Ryo and Ueda’s moans echoed throughout the whole room. Ryo continued to thrust harder.

Ueda wrapped his legs around Ryo’s waist making Ryo penetrate him deeper.

“Fuck, you don’t know what you’re doing to me Tatsuya…”

He only smiled at the younger man and licked the pool of sweat gathering on Ryo’s sculpted shoulder relishing in its salty taste.

“Ryo… faster… Ah…”

Ueda felt Ryo do what he said, ramming to him fast and hard. He hit that spot again, and Ueda could no longer bear to not scream Ryo’s name.

“God Tatsuya… you’re so tight.” Ryo said, thrusting his hips in full speed and power, the bed slamming on the wall in time with their movements. He leaned down and kissed Ueda’s lips lustfully as he slid his hands to grip the other’s hips, pulling towards him to meet his thrust. They moved intensely, the room now filled with moans and the scent of sex.

“More, God Ryo, more…Harder…”

Ryo obliged with his boyfriend’s request and then proceeded to kiss Ueda with all the passion and lust he’s feeling. He lifted Ueda’s left leg and rested it upon his shoulder. Ueda moaned as he felt Ryo filling him to the brink.

He has never felt so complete before.

Ryo sneaked his hand between their bodies grabbing Ueda’s shaft tightly in his palms and stroked it, synching it with his thrusts.

Ueda could feel that he’s close to his peak, digging his nails onto Ryo’s shoulders. And when Ryo started to pump and pull him, he felt his mind was going to explode that moment.

“Ryo! I- Aaah!”

Nishikido felt the world tighten around him as Ueda comes, spilling his juices all over his hand and stomach. He was about to come, he knew, and his thrusts became even harder and faster than before. And with one final movement, he came inside Ueda, arching his back and tensing his muscles from all the wonders that an orgasm can offer.

Both of them breathed in lots of air in order to compensate the lack of it a while ago. They lay on top of each other, sweat dropping from their foreheads, fingers intertwined with the other, just like their hearts.

“I love you, hime.” Ryo said, massaging Ueda’s side softly.

“I love you too, Ryo.” Ueda replied his voice and body obviously exhausted from his previous activities.

And they fell into deep slumber, still holding each others’ hand.

Irony Chapter 5b

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:36:45 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3 to RyoDa <3 again.
Rating: PG-13 (for language), this chapter has ~~awfully written~~ kissing. :D
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst and Fluff.
Disclaimer: I OWN THEM!... in my dreams. Boohoo...
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful. But then again...
Chapter Summary: (Continuation) KAT-TUN had a sleepover at Ueda's luxurious apartment. It was supposed to only be just them, but then Jin invited other people.
A/N: I'm so sorry if this took so long. My mood and ideas were drained down the toilet when I read the post (if you all know what I'm talking about, that is).

Previously...

Ueda stood up from the couch and walked towards the door of his room. He was about to turn the knob when he realized he forgot to ask something. "Oh I forgot, who wants to share the bed with me?"

"I will." That person said, making everyone look at him weirdly.

~

You've got to be kidding, Nishikido. Then all the possible events that could happen flashed in his mind, from a simple pillow fight to that, which made Ueda panic like hell, his breathing becoming frantic. "No no Nishikido-kun. You don't like me, right? And you even said that I'm talent-less and ugly. Why would you want to do that?" He asked awkwardly and without any hint of sarcasm.

Ryo just stared at him arrogantly. "Would you really let me sleep on the floor? I don't want back pains once I wake up, you know. And my fans will really get angry at you for making the Sexy Osaka man sleep on dirty floors."

"Ah? Souda! You take the bed instead. I'll sleep on the floor, ok?" Ueda asked, trying to sound so casual about it.

Nishikido, who seemed not to like what he heard, double-looked at him and said, "YOU. Please do not do that. I would like to live thank you. Your fangirls will kill me for letting YOU sleep on the floor. Wouldn't like to let the princess do that, right?"

The other, who was panicking more, shook his hands in front of him as he tried to persuade Ryo. "No no no! It's fine really. You can share it with Jin instead!" He said as he pulled the innocent Bakanishi towards Nishikido.

Ryo snickered, arms crossed at his chest. "No way! He snores like a pig!" And the said pig pouted, walking towards Yamapi to sulk.

Tatsuya fanned his eyes from side to side nervously, biting his lower lip. "Umm... Umm..."

The other grinned at him in suspicion. "Why princess? Scared of sleeping with me?" He said, walking closer to Ueda.

"N-no..." He stuttered, feeling his heart was about to explode. And it was really going to explode since he was now backed against the door of his room with Nishikido only a few feet in front of him.

"Then why are you stuttering? Nervous that something might happen?" Ryo just stood there in front of him, eyes staring straight into his.

"Of-of course not." He replied, looking at the floor or anything that is not Nishikido, who was now leaning forward slowly. WTF IS HAPPENING? He moved his head to the side and caught sight of the doorknob. He twisted it open, and was breathed more freely now that he had more personal space.

Now that the door was open, everyone could see the big panda sitting on Tatsuya's bed.

"KAWAII!" Everyone squealed, Jin and Yamapi being the loudest and were the first ones to glomp it, then the rest followed. "Where did you get this, Tat-chan?" Jin asked as he squeezed the stuffing out of the panda.

"I got it last Christmas." Ueda replied with a smile on his face, glancing at the sender of the gift, who was standing by the door and whose aura was screaming STOP-GLOMPING-IT-IT'S-NOT-YOURS. I think I should thank him. Hmmm... He held his chin with two fingers, thinking of how he can thank him without the others hearing nor seeing them. He knew Nishikido wouldn't like that.If I were to do that, the others should be asleep and... he has to be somewhere near. And he gulped at the thought. I just can't pull him somewhere, right? That would be too suspicious.

He sighed before speaking. "Fine. We can-" Gulp. "Share the bed."

Nishikido looked at him, that annoying smirk present. "You should have said that earlier, hime."

And he sighed again. I hope everything goes well.

~

Or not. He thought to himself sighing for the 3rd time, lying on his side facing away from Nishikido. Apparently, Jin and the others decided that they were all going to sleep in the living room, leaving the two alone. They claimed that they wanted the two to have "alone time". 'After what happened a while ago, who knows what Nishikido-kun/Ryo-chan might do next?' was all their faces were saying, together with the evil grins and diabolical palm rubbing. Naaaaah, nothing bad's gonna happen, right?

He turned to his other side, now staring at Ryo's back (He put the panda on the floor so they could fit on the bed). Is he asleep? He thought to himself, before attempting to catch Nishikido's attention, but he was two seconds late.

"Ne, hime..." Ryo spoke, shifting on the bed so now they were facing each other.

"Ye-yes?" He replied, trying to look for Nishikido's eyes in the dark.

"Am I your first kiss?"

Why did you suddenly bring that up? "Umm... no."

"Then who was it?"

Why are you asking?! "Etto... It was my classmate during high school. We were playing Truth or Dare that time, and that was his dare."

"Is he still alive?" Ryo joked.

"Shut up, Nishikido." He replied laughing. It's nice to have this kind of conversation with him, ne?

Silence...

"Ne, hime."

"Hm?"

"Do you hate me?"

"Why would you ask that?" He asked back quite nervously.

"I've been mean to you, right? I even made you cry."

"Uhhh..." He sighed, not wanting to answer the question as a matter of fact.

"I'll ask you again. Do you hate me?"

Why do you have to be so pushy? He stayed silent for a while, then answered. "No... not really." I don't hate you.

"Yokatta." Ueda could hear a bit of relief in Nishikido's voice.

Silence..

"Nishikido-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Anou, thanks for the panda." And he waited for a reply.

3

2

1

None. He sighed. Good, he doesn't want to talk about it.

1

2

3

"No problem."

And after a while, they fell asleep, both with smiles on their faces.

~

The sun rays that escaped through the curtains woke Tatsuya up. He opened his eyes, squinting a little because of the new feeling of the bright rays in his dark orbs. He tried to get up, but then the leg and arm wrapped around him wouldn't permit it.

Eh? He examined his state at that moment. He was facing the wall, and there was someone too close to him, and his arm was around his waist, and his leg was draped over his. He looked over his shoulder, and there he remembered that Nshikido was sleeping next to him. EH?! He tried to stay calm, but the feeling of Ryo breathing against his nape was driving him crazy. But nonetheless, he slowly removed the other's arm and leg, and successfully got out of bed. Yatta!

He looked at Ryo's sleeping figure, and smiled to himself. He looks like a baby. Kawaii. He giggled, covering his mouth with his hand. Grabbing his cellphone from the bedside drawer, he flipped it open and took a photo of Ryo's sleeping face. The boxer hid his phone in his pocket, and quietly skipped his way towards the door.

The scene in the living room made him laugh. Jin was the one lying on the couch, drool coming out from the side of his mouth; the others are scattered on the floor, hugging the legs or something near them that they can cuddle. I think I'll go buy them breakfast. He thought to himself before walking quietly out of his house.

~

When he got back, everything was still how he left it. Meaning, everyone was still asleep. Ueda sweatdropped;I thought so. He put the bags of food he was holding on top of the dining table as he made his way to the kitchen.

Since everyone was still asleep, he thought of taking a shower first. He opened the door slowly as he reached his bedroom door. After finding out that the bed was now empty, he entered and closed the door. Where did he go?

Suddenly, the bathroom door opened, and there emerged Nishikido with only a towel wrapped around his waist and another hanging on his neck. Tatsuya tried his best not to blush at the sight, but of course, he failed.

Ryo just stared at him. "I hope you don't mind me using your bathroom." He said, snapping Ueda out of the daze he was currently in.

"Of course not!" He exclaimed, turning away from Nishikido. He could have at least wore some clothes. Gosh, he's not in his own house. But... that was hot. Nishikido passed by him, that was the time he grabbed his own towel and went inside the bathroom.

~

The room was empty when Ueda finished his shower, and he could hear noises from outside. I guess they're awake now. He picked out a pair of warmers and a shirt to wear and quickly dressed up, going out of his room after.

Everyone was standing around the dining table, munching and pigging on the food that he brought for them. They were talking loudly with food still in their mouths, but no one really cared.

"Tat-chan!" Kame called, "Don't just stand there. Come here!"

Ueda nodded then ran off to join them. He took a bite, and then it went on, the talking and the eating. And Jin threw a very embarrassing question that made everyone stop.

"Ne Tat-chan, what did Ryo-chan do to you last night?"

Both of the mentioned people almost choked, Tatsuya beating his chest in reflex and Ryo holding his neck as he slammed his fist on the table. That was unexpected. Ueda thought to himself.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT, BAKANISHI?!" Nishikido managed to speak in between coughs.

"Yeah I agree! What the heck was that about?!" Koki asked, as he helped wipe the water off Maru's shirt. Apparently, he spat his drink on Nakamaru upon hearing the question.

"Well, you two were alone in the room, right? So, who knows what you did to Tat-chan since he's so pretty!" Jin exclaimed innocently like he was talking about Math.

Everyone gave him the "WTF" face. They tease, yes, but not up to that point...

And poor Bakanishi just looked at them. "Was there something I said?"

Then the previous conversations were continued, ignoring little Jin in his little world.

~

It was time for the others to go, since they had they own commitments and whatnot. They had their belongings in their hands and was standing in front of the door, about to leave.

"Thanks for last night, Ueda." Nakamaru thanked, bowing his head slightly.

"Yeah. Sorry for sort of gatecrashing, too." Yamapi added, also bowing his head, but in apology.

"It's alright. Jya, see you all at work." Ueda replied smiling.

Junno was the one who opened the door, and was the first one who got out. The rest followed, greeting and thanking Tatsuya as they walked out of the door. And the last was Ryo...

He watched Nishikido as he closed the door behind him, but then it did not close after all. Ryo stood there in the doorway, his hand still on the doorknob, and looked at the other in the eye.

"Ne," he spoke, "do you remember my group messages?"

Tatsuya looked at him quizzically as he refreshed his mind about the said messages. In my heart, there exists never-changing affection for you. It's all yours. The one-and-only "I love you.". Is he talking about that? "Yes."

"I was talking about you."

"Eh?" In my heart, there exists never-changing affection for you. It's all yours. The one-and-only "I love you."... EH?!

But before he could even react, the door had closed already, leaving Tatsuya a bit puzzled.

"He... he loves me?"

~

Waaah that was laaame. I'm so sorry. .____. And allboutp, I'm so sorry if I disappointed you. ^^;; I gave my best. .___.

Irony Chapter 5a

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:10:01 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3 to RyoDa <3 again.
Rating: PG-13 (for language), this chapter has ~~awfully written~~ kissing. :D
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst and Fluff.
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful. But then again...
Chapter Summary: KAT-TUN had a sleepover at Ueda's luxurious apartment. It was supposed to only be just them, but then Jin invited other people.
A/N: Hello everyone. Here's chapter 5. I'm splitting this one into two, because if I didn't it would be one very long chapter, which I don't like to read myself. ^^;; The other one is on the way desu~. THANKS AGAIN TO rockerista03 for the teasing part. We were "fighting" at YM. XDDD

A.N. This has been edited. (04/20/2009)

It was Koki's idea to have a sleepover at Tatsuya's house after the countdown, and he couldn't do anything about it since he wanted to spend time with his friends, too. Now, every KAT-TUN member was indulging themselves in the richness of his apartment; Jin bullying Junno who was trying to concentrate on his new video game, Kamenashi laughing at them, and Koki and Maru pigging in his kitchen. As for the owner, Ueda was sitting quietly on a seat by the window, staring at the message flashed on the screen of his cellphone in hand. It was one Ryo's group messages again, and this time it read:

In my heart, there exists
never-changing affection for you.
It's all yours.
The one-and-only "I love you." .

-The Hottest Man in Japan's group message

He just laughed at the man's vanity, but his heart ached that he wished so much that this message was for him. His sulking was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

Everyone was confused since all of KAT-TUN were there now and was not expecting anymore guests. "Did you invite other people, Tat-chan?" Kame asked.

"No... Only you guys." He answered, face filled with confusion as well.

Ding dong

"I'll get it!" Junno offered as he stood up and walked to the door. "Ireguchi Deguchi Taguchi desu!" He joked as he opened the door, only to be shocked when they saw that it was YamaPi... with Ryo, Toma, and Shirota.

"Ummm... Hi?"

Tatsuya turned and glared at Jin, who was now in front of him in his knees and begging to let him slip this time. Ueda rolled his eyes in annoyance, and sighed. "Fine."

He was sure he saw Jin's face lighten up with a very wide smile. "YAY. THANK YOU TAT-CHAN!" He thanked him, grabbed the elder one into a bone-crushing hug, then immediately releasing him to skip his way towards his best friends.

He sighed again, and decided to welcome his unexpected guests. "Make yourselves at home."

"Sorry we interupted you guys. Bakanishi here just invited us like that." YamaPi replied, bowing apologetically with a hand behind his head.

Tatsuya laughed quietly at him. "And yet you accepted his invitation. But anyway, the more the merrier, right?"

YamaPi just smiled. "Oh yeah! Yuu-chan, meet the rest of KAT-TUN. This is Ueda Tatsuya-kun." Ueda bowed at him.

"Hajimemashite."

Shirota bowed at him in return, and smiled... for quite a while, both of them not noticing the look on Ryo's face.

Jin stared at his friend, thinking that something was suspicious about that smile. "Ok Shirotan cut that out. You're scary!"

And so, YamaPi introduced the others to him and pretended that Shirota actually remembered them.

~

The night went on, and Ueda ended up tending to his... guests, putting food and drinks on the center table of his living room, then getting another bowl of chips because YamaPi and Jin just finished munching on them. But he felt happy watching his friends goof around; Toma watched Junno in his video game, shouting their cheers, remarks and whatnots about it, Koki and Maru still fooling around in the kitchen, later being joined by Kame, YamaPi and Jin sitting on the couch, bickering with each other as they played with the channels of the TV, and Shirota humming a tune while playing Ueda's acoustic guitar at the balcony with Ryo.

Falling instantly in love with the melody, Ueda approached the other, standing at the entrance of the balcony. "That was wonderful." He said, not seeming to mind the presence of the other even though there was this doki doki feeling inside of him.

"Of course it's wonderful. U-chan made it. Unlike your music. If you even call that music." Ryo snorted, earning JUST Tat-chan's scary glare from him; nothing more.

Shirota laughed at the two and looked at him with a smile. "Thank you." And once again, they missed the look pasted in Ryo's face.

He decided to take a seat in front of him but a little bit away from Nishikido, excitedly wanting to talk about music. "I heard that you composed a song."

"Hmm?" He laughed slightly. "Well, yes I did, ne?"

"Well duh. This IS Shirota Yuu you're talking to. He's good. Not just a pretty face. And his songs actually MAKE SENSE unlike yours. I really don't get if you're really part of JE sometimes." Ryo butted in again, receiving JUST another glare from Ueda. Why isn't he saying anything? Nishikido thought to himself.

Why isn't he shutting up? Tatsuya just laughed at the thought of Ryo's consistency and leaned closer, his face full of curiosity and excitement. "May I hear it? Please?"

"Sorry. Not possible Princess. You're not in his inner circle." Ryo segwayed again, getting his 3rd glare of the night.

"Sure, I'll play. I don't mind Ryo-chan!" He said smiling, not noticing his friend glaring at him. He strummed the guitar softly, playing the intro of the song. "Natsu wa owari..."

He continued, playing the chords and singing each word with all the passion he had, successfully imparting the emotion that was there. As he did, Ueda stared at him with dreamy eyes, admiring the beauty of the melody and the lyrics. Ryo just sat back with arms crossed at his chest, glaring at the two.

Ueda was almost teary-eyed when the song ended. "That was beautiful... and sad."

Yuu just laughed at the comment. "Yeah. They told me that many times. Ne ne, it's your turn." He said, handing the guitar to Ueda, who just cocked his head to the side.

"Eh?"

"Well, I played for you. So it's your turn to play." He explained, smiling widely.

"Do not, I repeat, do not let him play. Your ears will bleed." Ryo butted in for the 4th time, also recieving his 4th glare for the time being.

"Oh ok. I'll play." He took the guitar from his hands and positioned it on his lap, shoving away the comment the NEWS member just gave him. "I wonder what to play..."

"Are you crazy? You're going to kill U-chan with your awful music. You'd go to prison! Or worse. HIS fangirls would kill you and ship you somewhere where you won't be found! Like Paraguay or Timbuktu Island." The persistent Ryo mocked again.

"Ryo-chaaan, take it easy!" Shirota cooned, hands waving in front of him in attempt to stop his friend from saying anything more.

But then again, he failed.

That does it. "Would you shut your trap please? I am trying to have a decent conversation with Yuu-san. I don't need you butting in or fanboying over him tonight." He finally snapped, standing from his seat and shoving the guitar at Ryo's face.

Finally. Ryo thought to himself. "I am not fanboying over U-Kun, princess. AND SINCE WHEN DID YOU CALL HIM BY HIS FIRST NAME ANYWAY?!" He retorted as he stood up, grabbing the guitar from his face and shoved it in Shirota's arms.

"WHY DO YOU CARE ANYWAY?! I'LL CALL HIM WHATEVER NAME I WANT TO CALL HIM!"

"YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU AREN'T CLOSE PRINCESS! STOP BEING PRISSY!"

"WELL, STOP BEING AN ASS THEN!"

"I'M NOT BEING AN ASS, YOU MORON! I'M SIMPLY A RATIONAL HUMAN BEING!"

"WOW! YOU'RE A HUMAN? I DIDN'T NOTICE! YOU'RE ACTUALLY MORE OF A MONKEY!"

"DO NOT COMPARE ME TO AN ANIMAL! THIS GODLY BEING IS WAY TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE YOU FISH."

"WHY SHOULDN'T I? YOU'RE ACTING LIKE ONE! AND WHO SAYS YOU'RE GODLY, MIDGET?!"

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A-" Ryo wasn't able to continue when he felt arms pulling him away from Ueda.

It was Yamapi who was pulling him, with the rest of the people behind him. "Ok you two love birds, that's enough lover's quarrel for the night." Before the other could even react, he dragged his friend immediately. Shirota, who was so relieved that the argument ended already, went with them inside, bowing apologetically at Ueda before doing so.

Maru stayed at the entrance, and offered, "Ne, you want company?"

He shook his head no. "I'm fine."

The beatboxer just nodded before turning away, which left Ueda alone at the balcony. He sighed, also relieved that the argument was done. He had fun fighting with him actually, watching his face get red and that tiny smirk he had. That melting glare he was giving him, the way his hair drapes over his eyes in anger, and that something that make his lips sexy when they move, it was... Unhealthy. This is so unhealthy.

Tatsuya smiled as he inhaled the night breeze, resting his weight on the bars with his hands. The night sky was beautiful that night, the stars were brighter despite the smoke emitted by cars down the highways. It was slightly colder that night, too; if only he was there right beside that moment, enveloping his body with warmth, the coldness in him might have been disappeared also, freeing himself from the loneliness he was feeling. But it's someone else's body his embracing, ne? I wish it was me though...

A little ball of white fur suddenly flew across his face, disturbing him in his deep thinking. He gently caught it in his hand, and opened his palm to look at it closely. "It's a wishing feather." He muttered to himself, lifting his hand nearer to his face to look at it closer.

He closed his palm again, and asked himself, "I wonder what to wish for..." He pondered for a while, and smiled when he thought of something. Closing his eyes, he put his hand near his heart, and thought to himself, I wish he'd love me back. Gently opening his hand, he blew the wishing feather away, and watched as it soared into the heavens.

~

Ueda decided to go back inside, just to be pulled by a very excited Jin. "Tat-chaan~ Let's play a game!" He said, sitting down on the floor together with his friends and pulling KAT-TUN's U with him.

"What game?" He asked annoyingly, drawing his arm away from Akanishi, who was sitting next to Ryo. That's a relief, he thought to himself.

YamaPi pulled out a tupperware full of cherries inside his bag, and settled it in the middle of their circle. "Ok, so here's the thing. All of us will try to make a knot out of the cherry stem."

"That's easy!" Toma bragged, waving his hand in the air like he can kill a bear with his bare fists.

The other just scoffed at him and continued, "-with the use of the mouth ONLY."

"Is that even possible?" Ryo asked.

"Well, according to the magazine I read, it is. And if you did, it means that you're a totally awesome kisser."

"Really?!" Jin shouted with glee. "Then let's try it!" He removed the lid of the container, and started to pluck a stem off a cherry. Everyone did the same when Jin put it in his mouth already, his cheeks and jaw moving in attempt to make a knot. "It's hard!"

Everyone agreed and nodded, and Ueda, who didn't really want to join them, just watched in amusement.

Jin noticed that the other was just watching and got a stem, shoving it in his hand. "You, too Tat-chan!"

"O-ok..." Ueda replied, staring at the stem on his hand. He sighed before he plopped it in his mouth. In only a minute of this and that, he was able to do a knot. "Hey! I did one!" He said, showing the knot he made in between his teeth.

Jin and the others looked at him in amazement. "Oh! Sugoi!" He looked up at the ceiling, thinking about what had just happened. "That means Tat-chan is a good kisser." He said, shifting his gaze on the said man with a tint of... pervertedness? "Ne Tat-chan, let's see if it true." He exclaimed, leaning closer to the other and a hand holding Tatsuya's chin in place.

"Let go of me, Bakanishi." Ueda held the other's arm and pushed it away from his face, dropping the knot somewhere on the floor.

"Come on, Tat-chan~. I'll just see if it's true!" Jin insisted, putting his hand on Tatsuya's face again and again while the boxer kept on shoving it away. Akanishi was so persistent, and Ueda was actually getting scared already... scared of being French kissed by him. EW. WHY WON'T YOU STOP?!, he thought to himself as he continued to push the other's hands away from him.

"Ora fatty, I'll try him." Someone said, and Ueda watched Jin get pulled away from him. Then he saw Ryo getting dangerously close and pulling him closer by holding the back of his neck.

Ueda's eyes widened in shock when he realized that Ryo had his lips on his own. The other started moving his lips already, but he didn't bulge, too shocked to do anything actually. He kept still, making Nishikido pull away and stared at him angrily.

"Kiss back! God damn it!" He blurted angrily, then bashed his lips on Tatsuya's again, who just came back to Earth. He felt Ryo licking and sucking his lower lip. He's... good., he thought to himself before kissing back. He moved his lips with Nishikido's, their mouths dancing to their own breathing. He dared himself to actually shove his tongue in the other's mouth, which he did. He explored the mysteries of Ryo's mouth, tasting every corner of it. Might as well play along with the 'good kisser' thing.

But the Sexy Osaka Man wanted dominance; he could tell by the way he just shoved his tongue with his, pushing it back to his own mouth. He let him have it though, giving him the chance to roam around. But only for a while; he began to fight back, making their tongue dance again, but this time in the tune of desire. He could feel Ryo pulling him closer, deepening the kiss and sucking at wherever he can. It was ecstasy, and it made Ueda grope him everywhere; but he kept his hands to himself, worried that the other might shove his hands away. He just kept in kissing, fighting that hot pink muscle with his own for dominance, like waltz turning into rumba.

He held back his whimper when Ryo broke the kiss, both of them blushing and panting. They stared at each other, and Yamapi and his band of merry men and the rest of KAT-TUN who stopped their current activities stared at them, too. They were watching them make out the whole time, all of them wide-eyed... and somewhat turned on.

Ryo broke the silence that was lingering in the atmosphere at that moment, and he broke it with an insult. "You call that a kiss? What kind of kiss was that? Come on princess. Can't you kiss properly even with THOSE lips?"

Toma, who felt like an argument was about to start again, gave a suggestion. "Ne ne, let's just watch a movie, ok?"

"Let's watch my movie!" Maru shouted, raising his hand at that.

"No! Let's watch my movie!" Yamapi retorted, putting his hands on his waist.

"No one's watching anyone's movie!" Toma said, cutting the conversation. "Let's just see what DVDs Ueda-san has. OK? Jin, Pi, you do it."

With that, Jin and Yamapi stood up, and walked over Tatsuya's DVD rack to scan the titles. Out of all the western classics and Japanese movies, something caught Bakanishi's attention.

"Tat-chan?" He asked, his back still facing the others.

"Hm?"

"Why do you have this?" He pulled out a DVD case, held it with both hands but not covering the title, and turned to face the others. Ueda bit his lip in embarrasment when he saw the name.

Attention Please Honolulu Special

"Wait... Isn't Nishikido-kun in that drama?" Kame asked in an awkward manner.

Ryo smirked at this. "Oi fishlips! I know I'm hot and irresistable and all but STOP STALKING ME!"

Tatsuya faced him, trying to hide his embarrasment. "I did not but this because of you, you know." I lied.

"Then why?" Asked the other arrogantly.

"Because I like Ueto Aya!" Nope, I like you.He answered immediately, looking at anything that is not Nishikido, who just stared at him in disbelief.

"... Right. OK, we're watching it." He said, leaning back on the couch behind him.

"No! We're gonna watch something else!" Ueda declined childishly.

"You guys want to watch it, right?" He glared at everyone, successfully making them nood yes. "See? So we're watching it."

Ueda shook his head violently. "Fine! You guys watch it. I'll just go to my room." He stood up from the floor to walk to his room. But before he could even make a step, Ryo pulled his arm, helplessly tumbling onto the couch.

And there he stared at Ryo, who was towering over him right now. "You're watching it with us. And no exceptions!" He commanded in an impatient tone, one which made the other nod in compliance.

"Ryo-chan's getting rough with Tat-chan, ne?" Jin mumbled to Yamapi loud enough for only the two of them to hear.

Yamapi nodded. "Probably his way of showing him-"

"I heard that Bakanishi. And don't even attempt to continue what your saying, Yamapi." Nishikido said, glaring at the two. Pin just nodded innocently.

"But..." Junno started, looking at the big wall clock shouting 4:00 AM. "I think it's a little late now to watch that."

"Yes! Yes!" Tatsuya immediately agreed, clasping his hands together happily. "Let's all sleep now, ok? You guys decide who's going to sleep where." Ueda stood up from the couch and walked towards the door of his room. He was about to turn the knob when he realized he forgot to ask something. "Oh I forgot, who wants to share the bed with me?"

"I will." That person said, making everyone look at him weirdly.

Ueda gaped at him. You've got to be kidding me, Nishikido...

The other half in here~!
~

Notes: The waltz and rumba part? Let me just explain it. In waltz, and almost all of other social dances, the man leads. But in rumba (based on my research), woman leads. In this case, Ueda. HAHAHAHAHA. And please forgive me for the Shirota OOCness. I can't make him noisy here (he's in the house of a newly found acquaintance, so I made him kind off formal.)

And oh yeah, to those who care about this fic and some of my thoughts about some comments, please read the entry before this one. :D

No fic actually. Just a rant.

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:58:54 GMT

OK. For those who read the chapters of the fic, thank you very much. Your comments are so much love.

BUT THEN AGAIN, ONE PERSON PISSES ME OFF.

Ne minna, tell me. Is the plot unrealistic? I do my very best to keep it realistic. So just... yeah.

And the 5 days thing, IS THAT TOO UNREALISTIC? Dude, it's not. Because it happened to me ok?!

So ok, I'll confess. I'm writing my own love story in RyoDa's context. GAHD DEMN.

SO STOP GIVING COMMENTS LIKE "HE SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT QUIET" FOR FUCKING KAMI-SAMA'S SAKE AND JUST FUCKING READ ON. IS THAT TOO HARD TO DO?! GOD! YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WRITING, SO IF YOU WANT A FIC THAT GOES YOUR OWN WAY? WRITE YOUR OWN.

ALL YOUR QUESTIONS AND MUSINGS AND FUCKING WHATEVERS WILL BE ANSWERED. GAWD.

ONE MORE COMMENT LIKE THAT AND I'LL STOP WRITING. GAWD. AND NO, THIS IS NOT A THREAT. I'M GETTING SICK OF YOUR COMMENTS AND I REALLY INTEND ON STOPPING.

So I'm letting one person do this to me, ne? Well, it's just a stupid story after all, and I won't lose anything. >:P

P.S. That person almost made me cry. Because of the fucking comment, yes. It almost made me cry.

YOU. YOU. YOU, WHO JUST MADE ME MISERABLE, FUCK OFF AND DIE.

Irony Chapter 4

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:47:44 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3 to RyoDa <3 again.
Rating: PG-13 (for language), this chapter is R-ish. :D
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst. XDDD
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful.
Chapter Summary: Ueda had his best Christmas ever.
A/N Minna~~Here it is. XDD Sorry if it took so long. XDD;; Thanks to rockerista03 for helping me out again. :D

A/N2. This has been edited. (04/20/2009)

He sure likes to blab today. Nakamaru thought. He has been listening to Ueda babbling about the same thing over and over again for the past 30 minutes. And what about?

"But I can't really understand him! He's been acting so weird. And it's really weird. But I don't know... But it's nice. But..."

And there he goes again. Another 30 minutes in Ueda's living room with nothing to do but listen to his friend.

But thank god, he came to a stop.

"But... I bet it's all a joke." With that, Maru looked at him in shock."I bet, he's just playing around. Yeah... Must not have high hopes on this one..."

He felt kind of sorry for Ueda, and he felt sorry for himself, too when he thought that it was another 30 minutes of listening to his friend talking about the same thing AND comforting him over and over again.

But yes, Ryo has been weird lately. First, he takes him home, then he gives him a bouquet of roses. He's been talking to him a bit more civil compared to before. He'd sit with him during the most random times, and say nothing at all. He would slap him or punch him when they meet along the corridors, and will not apologise, but smirk at him instead. He would randomly show up at Ueda's boxing gym, too. Of course, Ueda doesn't see him, but his friends there say that there has been this short guy with black hair that kept on peeping through the window. He's been recieving group messages from him, too! Those which that went like "I love you, and apart from this, I can't find anything else. -Group message". He'd also receive something like "That transparent smile that I can seemingly reach if I stretch out my hand; it even twinkles, it’s so precious that I can’t take my eyes off you baby" then he'd send another message saying "Oops. Sorry. Sent it to the wrong person." but since when did he have his number? Weird much, isn't it?

~

Holiday season had come. Winter was here, too. It was cold and serene. Children were playing with the snow, students wearing their winter uniforms passed by and the adults were walking carefully as if they would slip anytime. Everyone was wearing thick sweaters and whatnot, tucking their hands inside their pockets to keep them warm. The holiday breeze whispering not-so-warm words to their ears...

Well, that would apply to Ueda. The winter breeze was probably saying something like "It's just a joke..."; or maybe his mind was just playing with him.

It was the 21th day of December, which was the 5th to the last practice for the countdown. Everyone was so hyped up so they could finish early, because after that was Johnny's Christmas Party (he was kind that time). Games, food, gifts; that was what they were all after. Fun.

Rehearsals ended already, and the guys were given 30 minutes to prepare; dress up, fix the place and whatnot. Ueda, the conceited person he is (of course less than Kame), was at the dressing room putting on make-up and fixing his hair.

Knock, knock, knock

"What the hell?" Tatsuya muttered, putting down the maskara on the table. "Come in."

The door opened, and he saw Shoon's head peeping from outside. "Ueda-sempai~."

"Yes?"

"Someone's asking what you want for Christmas. And please be quick sempai. I don't want to get killed thanks." He said with the Shoon smile plastered on his face.

Ueda was shocked at his question. "I... really haven't thought about it." He eyed the other narrowly. "Who asked?"

Shoon froze. "Ehehehehe...I'm not allowed to say, sempai. I'm gonna get fried." I should've brought Yabu or Hikaru or even Reon with me damn it. Shoon thought to himself.

He raised an eyebrow at the junior. "Just tell that person that I haven't thought about it yet."

"Anou... Can't you answer now?"

"No. Why?"

"Because I'll get killed..."

"No one would murder someone just because of some shallow reason. Now go."

"But- but- but..." He was pouting now.

Oh shit... He's giving that look already. Of course, who could resist Shoon's pout?

He thought hard of what he wanted for Christmas. From clothes to make-up, he could just buy them anywhere. Something rare; something unique; something that he can hold on forever.

"Yokoo-chan!! Look! Hiro-chan gave me a stuffed penguin!" He heard a voice coming from the corridors. Is that Fujigaya-kun?

"KAWAII! It's so cute!!" Did Yokoo-kun just squeal?

But thanks to them, an imaginary light bulb suddenly appeared above Tat-chan's head. But since I really don't like penguins that much...

"Tell that person I want a stuffed panda." Just so that I can save his ass.

Shoon gave him his Shoon smile again; this time, a smile of relief. "THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE!" And with that, he went away.

What an odd boy... Oh well. He picked up the maskara again, and continued where he stopped.

~

Laughter, shrieks, screams and squeals; all from the sempais and juniors (The chibi juniors were sent home early because it was past their curfew). All that was heard during the party. Food, wrappers, confetti, cups were flying everywhere. JE sung Christmas carols filled the room as every JE boy tackled a friend of theirs, wrestling and tickling, making a laughing stock out of themselves.

All the fuss was interupted when Hina started to speak; mic near his mouth, his voice booming from the speakers. "Ahem ahem, may I have everyone's- MARU CUT THAT OUT!- attention please?"

He waited a while until everyone was settled. "Ok everyone. It's our favorite part! EXCHANGE GIFT TIME!" Everyone shouted in glee.

"Okay. Yoko and I will call out 2 bands to give their gifts to the names they picked."

"And to add some fun to it, we won't be going chronologically." Yoko added.

Hina nodded. "Yes, yes. So if SMAP-san and Hey! Say! JUMP would get called at the same time, GOOD LUCK."

"Yeah and Hina's crazy."

Hina was still nodding... "Yes, yes. Wait... WHAT?"

Shingo slapped Yoko's forehead while everyone laughed at them. "Ok. Let's start! First off is..." He scanned his eyes through the room. "Tokio and Kis-my-ft2!"

Then it went on, KAT-TUN going with Smap.

In then end, Ueda had a not-so-big number of gifts in his arms. One from each KAT-TUN member (majority of which are make-up and clothes) and one from Inoo-kun (he gave every KAT-TUN member a gift, being a KAT-TUN fanboy he is). It was kind of heartbreaking since he didn't receive anything from Ryo, although he knew that it would be impossible.

His sulking was interupted when Hina's voice once again filled the room. "Hai hai! Has everyone given their gifts now? Ok ok. Next is the fun part." There appeared Yoko with 2 cardboard boxes that are red and yellow in color respectively, similar to what they use during the Junior League.

"Ok. So we have two boxes here. Inside the yellow box is the names of each person inside this room. The other one is filled with dares; but of course it's still has something to do to what happened a while ago." He grinned evilly then added, "Let's start! First is..." He put his hand inside the yellow box and picked a piece of paper. He grinned evilly again and shouted out, "Yamashita Shoon! Bring your gifts with you!"

Shoon walked towards the front where the 2 hosts were. Hina put his hand in the red box this time, picked up a piece of paper and read its content. "Pick the worst gift you have now, and tell that person 'I don't like it.'"

"EH!?" Shoon just shouted in response.

"Do it! Do it!" Everyone said.

Shoon looked at the presents in his arms, and decided to pick the box of wasabi. "Hikaru! I don't like it!"

The room roared with laughter, gripping their stomachs and stomping their feet. Hikaru was just screaming out "HIDOYA!!" in between laughs.

"OK- ok! Let's move- on now!" Hina exclaimed, picking another name. "Yaotome Hikaru!"

Everyone swooned as Hikaru started to swagger his way towards the front. Each one kept quiet though as they watched Hina grab another piece of dare. "Make a commercial out of one of the presents given to you."

Hikaru nodded happily and stared at his presents. Smiling widely, he chose the white and brown colored plaid shorts that Yabu gave him. He put the other presents down on the floor, and lifted the garment to his face. He then immidiately put it down again, showing an exagerated smile for a photoshoot.

Then started to sing, in the tune of Arashi's Kitto Daijobu with the matching dance steps...

"Shortsy shortsy hey!" He was singing the chorus with that line ONLY, shaking his hips with the song. And of course, who wouldn't laugh at Hikaru? Once again, the room was filled with loud laughter. Then he showed his disappointed face after, making the laughing rise another level.

It took a whole minute before they could stop, and with this, Hina continued. "Tsugi wa..." He said, picking up another name. "Ueda Tatsuya-kun!"

Ueda looked at Murakami in disbelief, not really wanting to participate. But since Nakamaru was pushing him already, he had no choice. He walked in the middle as casually as possible, though the teasing (again) made it so awkward.

He watched Shingo as he picked a piece of paper from the red box, wishing that the dare was something not as humiliating as Hikaru's dare.

The host spoke. "Say the name of the person whom you want to receive a gift from."

Oh shit. Now he's in big trouble. I can't just say it...

"Ni... Ni..." He stuttered, playing with the hem of his shirt nervously.

"Nika-chan?" Senga asked out of the blue.

No answer. Tatsuya was biting his lower lip now...

"Nino-kun?" That was Ohno.

No answer. He was sweating now...

"NIshikido!!" Yamapi shouted out loud, emphasizing the 'ni'. Die Yamashita-kun.

Ueda shook his head violently. "No! No! It's not Nishikido-kun! It's-"

He wasn't able to continue what he was saying. Swoons and whatnot were too much to retort. He just went back to his seat, and sighed. That went well.

~

Home sweet home...

Uebo let himself fall on his bed, and stared at the ceiling once more. There was this feeling of disappointment in him that said "You should have done it! So you could know if he really hates you or not! BAKA!". He was stressed, and that tight feeling in his chest made it even harder for him.

I need to distract myself.

He sat up and reached for his bedside drawer, taking his Ipod out (with the speakers). He put it on shuffle, and tried to fall asleep, not even minding to change his clothes.

~~

Can I love you? In this trembling night
Do it just like that... do it more... deeper...
At the grind of your lips claiming mine
I am your... Vanilla

The shifting of the bed woke him up. He opened his eyes, and he could not believe what he saw. "Nishikido-kun?"

He looked further and examined their position; he was tied up and clotheless. He looked at Ryo and saw that he was naked himself. Ueda panicked, not really knowing of what to do. He tried to think, but was stopped when he felt a tongue on his nipple and a hand on his cock.

"Ry-Ryo..." He moaned out, arching his back to feel more of that hand. Ryo was pumping his erection in a painfully quick pace. His mouth left where it was to kiss his lips, sucking and biting on the lower lip. He then shoved his tongue in hard, tasting every crevice of his mouth, making the other moan out even louder.

Can I love you? In this trembling night
Do it just like that... do it more ... faster...
Your bruising lips hurt me more when you're speaking
You and I are not... burning love

"Aaah... Harder..." Tatsuya was close; he could feel it. The way he touches him, kisses him, it was all he ever dreamed of; he felt like it was heaven.

Ryo continued to pump him hard, increasing the level of intensity. Ueda was shaking violently to the pleasure with this, and with a flick of the other's wrist, he came in his hand, screaming out incoherent thoughts along with Ryo's name.

His back fell on the bed, his arms limply hanging from the bed post. Nishikido was still on top of him, staring at him in the eyes. "Ni-Nishikido-kun?"

"Bark!"

"Eh?"

"Bark!"

And he woke up to reality.

Ueda sat up abruptly, looking at his surroundings as if checking if he was still in his room. He caught sight of Eri, sitting on the floor and waving its tail happily. "Bark!"

It was a dream? He shifted to put a foot on the floor, but stopped as he noticed the sticky feeling inside his pants. He slowly unzipped his pants, and peeked a little... Then sat up straight. Oh fuck... Stupid hormones. He headpanned himself.

Ai shitemo ii kai? yureru yoru ni
Aru ga mama de ii yo motto kimi wo
Kuruoshii kurai ni nareta koshitsuki ga
Toke au hodo ni
Kimi wa...boku no...bannin da

He looked at his Ipod, raising an eyebrow as he heard Vanilla's last chorus. Very much frustrated, he shut it off angrily, then tossed it somewhere; and for the first time, he cursed Gackt. Damn you and your ero songs...

~

Ueda fixed himself, planning on visiting his parents for once. After his final check on the mirror, he grabbed his things and went to the door.

He opened the door and was suppose to step out if not for the life-size panda bear blocking his way.

What?

He closed the door fast for no apparent reason at all. Am I still dreaming? He opened it again slowly, peeping through the piece of wood. It is a panda. He looked at from top to bottom, and noticed the red ribbon tied around its neck. He stepped out entirely and pulled it inside his house, making it difficult for him since it didn't fit his door.

Successfully pulling it in, Tatsuya thought of putting it inside his bedroom, knocking things on the way since it was BIG. Afterwards, he settled it on his bed and sitting beside it.

Panting, he stroked the stuffed animal's arm, and smiled. It 's so soft. He glomped it with glee and cuddled it; the softness of panda was perfect. But he suddenly, he stopped. But who the heck would give this? He looked at the ribbon, and noticed a card tied with it. He leaned closer to read what was written, which obviously made this Christmas the best Christmas Tatsuya had.

Merry Christmas Hime.
-Ryo

~~~~

The song was Vanilla by Gackt. And because of that song, I became a Gackt fan SQUEAAA. XDDD

RyoDa Fic: Irony Chapter 3

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 18:25:14 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst. XDDD
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful.
Chapter Summary: Ueda finally decides to give in.
A/N Minna~~ Did it take long? I'm so sorry. ^^;; I had to rest. Hehe. And I was distracted, too. So I had a hard time writing. :D It's choppy and poorly written... I'm really sorry. o.o; I was also insane when I was writing this, so some things here defy common sense. And be warned for so much OOC. o.o;; This will be my last update for a while. (I'll be gone for a week. ^^;;) Jya ne! :D rockerista03 Thanks again. :D

Must... not... like him!

Ueda laid on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. The thoughts of Nishikido were swimming inside his head, and he kept on drowning them because he doesn't want to give in. There was this tight feeling in his chest, and he couldn't understand why he felt this way. I can't. I must not.

He closed his eyes, and the first image he saw was Nishikido's. Upon seeing this, he opened his eyes again immediately, and sat up abruptly. He messed up his hair in annoyance, making those screeching noise as he did. "GAAAH! NO!"

Tatsuya slammed his hands on either side, then shook his head roughly as if trying to throw away all those wrong thoughts. He slapped both cheeks, then screamed out loud;

"I WILL NEVER FALL FOR YOU NISHIKIDO!!"

Although he didn't know why he shouldn't.

~

The next day in the rehearsal room...

"Ueda? What happened to you?" Maru asked his friend.

He looked like his soul was sucked out until the very last bit of it. He had heavy eyelids, and he almost bumped his head on the very obvious glass door of Jimusho's entrance. He was spacing out, close enough for him to drool. He kept on staring at random things; the mirror, the ceiling, Akanishi's crotch, and Maru's nose. He was plain weird...

"Eh?" He replied, not looking at Maru. He had his head tilted to the side, and he was staring at Koki's bald head this time.

Yuichi leaned forward, giving the What-the-heck-is-wrong-with-you-man? face to Ueda. He poked Tatsuya in the forehead, making the other return to earth again.

"E-eh?" He asked cluelessly.

Nakamaru made his famous Nakamaru's face before replying. "You're spacing out again!"

"Oh... sorry." He said, sitting down with both legs straight on the carpeted floor after to stretch.

As he bent forward to reach his toes, he caught the sight of Ryo, Yamapi and Jin playing in the far corner opposite to him. They were giggling, laughing, playing, hugging, touching...

God... What am I thinking? Ueda shook his head in confusion.

Rehearsals went and ended well. He got the things needed to be remembered, nothing bad happened, and the teasing was lessened this day. It was probably because Nishikido was not talking to him more often than before, which made Ueda kind of... incomplete?

Ueda had to stay after all of the others has gone, due to some tasks he left undone. He tried to finish his current task diligently, but the feeling of someone watching hindered him from doing so...

Could it be... THIS BUILDING IS HAUNTED?!

The KAT-TUN member remained calm, and shoved the thought of ghosts away. But then the sound of footsteps getting louder were freaking him out. And to think that he was alone in that room...

He slowly turned his head to see what it is, eyes filled with fear as he did. And he just saw...

"Nishikido?!" He shouted in annoyance and panic. The said man just stood there with goofy smile on his face.

"Um... hi?"

Tatsuya rolled his eyes at him. "The fuck Nishikido. YOU SCARED THE SHIT HELL OUT OF ME!"

"Um... sorry?"

Ueda just gaped at his cluelessness, which was annoying and adorable at the same time. He glanced at the big wall clock hanging on the wall behind the other, and it had just turned 11:00 in the evening.

He raised an eyebrow at him and asked, "Why are you still here anyway? It's late. Go home."

Ryo was about to say something but stopped, leaving his mouth open and his pointer finger in the air. "Be- because... You're all alone here! And who knows, you might do something stupid again." He said with an all-knowing face, crossing his arms upon his chest.

The other just stared at him. "Like what?

"Umm... The fairies you talk to might hypnotize you and then kidnap you and make you their slave?"

He continued to stare at him, giving off a You're-weird aura. "Right..." He answered in annoyance, but deep inside he's going all dokido- Ueda Tatsuya, stop.

He proceeded in finishing his tasks, trying to ignore Nishikido who was sitting on a chair by the door. But it was already late...

He sighed, then turned around to face him. "Nishikido, go home now. It's already past 11:30."

"..."

"Go home." He commanded before turning his back on the other.

"No."

With that, Ueda slammed his fist on the table. "I said-"

"I'll wait for you." The other replied without looking at him.

"Eh?" He cocked his head to the in confusion.

Ryo just tch-ed. "Just finish the God damn paperwork so I could take you home!"

The KAT-TUN member was stunned, too stunned to say anything in return and just nodded.

After a while...

Ueda stood up and walked towards Ryo. "Um... I-I'm done." He informed timidly.

Ryo stood up, too, and looked at him with a straight face. "Let's go."

The other just followed him as they walked their way inside the building. After a long awfully quiet walk, they reached the parking lot.

Nishikido opened the door on the passenger's side for Ueda, and the other just obeyed what Ryo was making him do. He sat and behaved himself as he watched Ryo settle himself inside the car.

"Have you eaten yet?" Ryo asked flatly as he turned on the engine.

"Nn." He nodded his head.

"Tell me the directions as we go on, ok?"

"Hai..."

The drive was quiet and awkward. It got even more awkward when Kittou Daijobu played on the radio, and didn't fit the atmosphere at all. Ueda stared at the radio, thinking that this must be the weirdest day of his life.

The thought of everything being alright was shoved away when the car abruptly stopped, almost throwing him forward, but the seatbelt was a savior.

He glared at Nishikido, who was now smiling apologetically at him. "Sorry. Didn't notice the stoplight."

Ueda rolled his eyes at him, and looked outside the window. The scene by the bench near the lamp post caught his attention. He watched the guy who was standing there, holding a big bouquet of flowers and about to give it to the girl in front of him, who was smiling widely; although he can't see it because the lighting was not enough. Then he imagined Ryo, giving him flowers too...

He smiled. That would be nice... And before he even had the chance to mentally slap himself, Nishikido spoke.

"Could you stop talking to your fairies for one second PLEASE." He said, then caught sight of the scene the other was watching. "What? No one has given you things like those before? I'm not surprised. With a face like that, I doubt someone will." He added, smirking.

Without looking at him, Tatsuya replied, his voice a bit crestfallen. "Unfortunately, yes."

And with that, Nishikido kept quiet.

The rest of the drive was filled with silence, except when Ueda instructs Nishikido on where to turn and such. That silence ended when they reached Ueda's apartment. He thanked him and all, greeted each other their goodbyes, and he went up to his apartment.

He laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling once again. This is weird... And he fell asleep, ignoring the doki doki feeling inside him completely.

Another usual day had come, and Tatsuya did his daily routine. He ate, showered, fixed himself, all of those. But even though it was usual, he seemed happier than usual, which was quite eccentric...

He did fix his bed.

He did put moisturizer on his eyes.

He did feed his dogs.

Maybe it's because he did dream of Nishikido that night, giving him flowers just like what he saw last night...

Scrap that Ueda.

He sighed, and made his way to the door. He opened it, and was planning on walking out of his apartment already when his foot came in contact with something.

Tatsuya looked down, and he saw a big bouquet of roses lying on the ground. He picked it up and hoped to find that card. And he smiled when he did.

And his smile got even bigger when he read the content.

Ueda,

   Hope you'll like it. See
   you at work.

       The Sexy Osaka Man.

He became happy when he sees him. Even though the casual teasing was present, he's happy deep inside. He felt like he needed to talk to him, get his attention even if he gets hurt in the process. Every single gesture Nishikido did towards him made his heart go doki-doki. And he denied all of these.

Except now.

He got his cellphone from his bag and speed dialed to Nakamaru.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Ne Maru, I love him after all."

"WH-"

He hung up.

RyoDa Fic: Irony Chapter 2

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:14:06 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst. XDDD
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful.
Chapter Summary: Things start to patch up for Ueda.
A/N: Minna~~ Thanks for those who posted a comment. The latter part is awful... I'm sorry. And... I'm so sorry. But I don't think I can write a happy ending for these two. Ehehe... :D And thanks to </a></b></a>rockerista03 for helping me out again. XD Now I'm scared to post it there... Hahaha.

"Ryo and Ueda sitting in a tree..."

"SHUT UP!" Both of them shouted.

Ever since Yasu started teasing, the other juniors (even the sempais) started to do the same. They discovered that those two are speechless when it comes to do that. The two won't even hurt anyone, EVEN RYO; they would just deny it, then pout. Each one of the teasers had different versions of their own, like "Ryo and Ueda lying on the bed, F-U-C-K-I-N-G" for the perverts, and the one mentioned above for the innocent ones. They felt so happy (and evil) teasing them, especially when they do not get hurt at the end.

It has been one week after that incident. One week of less fighting, one week of easier control of the two, and one week of nonstop teasing. It was pure fun (except for the two of course).

Another day of rehearsals has come. Everyone was early, a few trying to remember the things that was taught and said to them during the last time. The others were warming up, some were chatting with their co-members, and some were fooling around, like Pi and Jin were playing pranks on the juniors (again). It was another usual day.

And of course, our usual Ueda was sitting in front of the mirror, and he seemed preoccupied with something. He massaged his temple with a thumb, and the rest of his hand covering his face.

Nishikido... where are you... He suddenly sat up straight, cannot seem to believe that he just thought about that. What the hell am I thinking? Get a grip Ueda!

"Oooi~ Ueda-sempai!" It was Hikaru's voice, and Ueda looked at him at the mirror, "Your boyfriend is here~!" And then he saw Nishikido, who swaggered his way towards Pi and Jin while trying to shove off all the swoons he was receiving.

Tatsuya shifted his eyes on Hikaru again and said, "For the thousandth time, I do NOT like Nishikido." He could hear Jin giggling in the corner with YamaPi, and without looking at him, he said, "Jin, stop making up stuff about me. Don't include me in your childish musings." He got another giggle for a reply.

He just sighed, and went back to massaging his temples. Subconsciously, he shifted his eyes up and took a glance from Nishikido from the mirror, who was unexpectedly looking back at him. He immediately looked down on the floor, his cheeks turning a bit red. Oh my God, he's looking at me. Is there something on my face? Is my hair messy? Is my- He trail of thoughts stopped when he felt someone's presence behind him.

"Oi fishlips." He looked up, and he could see Nishikido's reflection. "Yes?" He replied.

Nishikido raised an eyebrow. "Just what the hell are you doing here alone? It's unhealthy you know. Talking to fairies. And I'm gonna leave you now because I see that idiot Hikaru and I do NOT want to get teased. AGAIN. Thanks to you." He said in a tone that you can't distinguish between concern and mockery.

"What?!" Ueda answered, then stood up and faced Ryo. "Are you saying-"

"RYO-CHAAAN~!"

Everyone stared at him, who was running towards Ryo and glomped him, squeezing the life out of the NEWS member.

"U-Uchi?" Ryo said, while trying to breathe. He removed the arms around him, and delightedly turned around to face his friend. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting you of course! Look! Notti's here with me! Not-- eh? Where'd he go? Oh there he is. He's with Shige and Kei-chan." Uchi replied, pointing at where Kusano was. He winked at Ryo, sticking his tounge out playfully.

They started talking and chatting about each others' current lives, not seeming to care about Ueda's presence. He quietly sat down, and massaged his temples again; but this time, in annoyance.

Choreographer-san once again saved his life, and they had to start the rehearsals. Meaning, Uchi has to go. HAH. Get out of my life, Uchi. Go away. NOW! Wait... What am I thinking?! SNAP OUT IF IT.

He was annoyed during the whole rehearsal, including the breaks. His brows were furrowed while dancing, and he was glaring at everyone who looked at him. His movements were screaming "I'm angry Don't talk to me", too, which made him receive comments like "Relax Ueda-kun" from the choreographer. He was so annoyed that he wanted to murder Uchi and throw his body at the nearby trash bin. What? Why am I annoyed anyway?!

After the rehearsals, Maru invited him out for dinner at the new place he discovered. He had nothing to do, so he accepted.

The walk there was awfully quiet. Maru wanted to start a conversation, but whenever he'd say something, Ueda would just nod his head or not react at all.

Finally, they reached their destination. They sat down, ordered, and was now waiting for their food.

While waiting, Maru examined Ueda. His face was somewhat expressionless, unlike the one he had a while ago. He looked a little confused, too. He could tell by the way he sighed just now. He was massaging his temples again, and his eyebrows met every now and then.

Not at all comfortable at this, he asked him, "What's bothering you, Ueda? You've been acting weird since this morning."

Ueda looked at him. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"No, you're not fine."

"I am."

Maru sighed, not convinced at all. "Oooh... ok." He pondered for a while, then smirked when he finally thought of something witty.

"Then could you explain to me why you got pissed off when Uchi came?"

"..."

Got him. "Were you jealous?"

With that, Ueda slammed his palms on the table. "Jealous? Who says I'm jealous? No, I'm not jealous. I don't even like Nishikido. Why should I be jealous? It's not like I like him, you know. Nope, I'm not jealous." He then leaned back on his seat, arms crossed upon his chest. "And they didn't have to oggle each other in front of ME. Can you believe that? It seemed like I wasn't there at all! And Nishikido was talking to ME. He can't just glomp him like that while he's talking to ME. That's just not right."

Maru grinned, then leaned forward. "You are."

"I said I'm not!" Ueda yelled at him, earning glances from other patrons. He bowed to them in apology.

"If you weren't, then you wouldn't be reacting like this." The N of KAT-TUN replied, raising an eyebrow at him. He propped himself on an elbow, and rested his chin on his hand. "I think you're starting to fall for him, ne..."

"NO." He slammed a hand on the table again, only this time it was softer. "OVER MY DEAD BODY."

I'm not falling for him... am I?

~

The ending was lame. I'm so sorry. o.o;;

RyoDa: Irony Chapter 1

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:18:48 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: ~~Attempted~~ Angst. XDDD I did this like, 2:00 in the morning. So yeah. And this is only un-beta'd. So yeah. It's... awful.
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful.
Chapter Summary: It all started because of Yasu's shocking statement... (This chapter has crack. :D)
A/N: Minna~~ Thanks for those who posted a comment. I hope it's ok that I start from before they were together. :D And thanks to rockerista03 for helping me out! Love yah dude. XDD

"Oi Princess! You do it like this!" Ryo executed the step that was being done for the past few minutes. "We've been doing this for God knows how many times now! Can't your small brain really get this overly simple thing? Even a 5-year-old can do better than that." He blurted out.

Ueda's eyebrow twitched in annoyance, and turned to face Ryo. "I believe what I'm doing is correct, Nishikido. Get over it."

"Correct? You think that's pleasant to watch?" Ryo retorted. "You look more like a walking stick than an idol."

Ueda was definitely pissed off, but he kept a straight face and said, "Fine. In return, learn work etiquette while I'm practicing please." He replied, smirking when he saw evidences that he hit a nerve.

Ryo was annoyed at that, and he walked closer to the taller man with hands balled into fists. "What did you say fishlips?!"

Another day of rehearsals. Another day of endless fighting. And another day of trying to stop the two from doing so.

Everyone was there, rehearsing for Johnny's Countdown. They watched as Jin pulled Ueda by the waist while Yamapi pulled Ryo's shoulders hard, each of them preventing the two from having a fist fight... again. Everyone was too scared to say something witty or funny, fearing that they might get involved. All of them still wanted to live long anyway, so they just stood there, watching the whole scene. This would be the normal scenario.

Except maybe that day.

No one noticed Yasu skipping his way towards the four members. He jumped and landed on his feet as he reached them, hands on his waist and a playful expression pasted on his face. The four of them didn't notice him at all, too preoccupied with the current scenario. And no one knew that Yasu could shut them up with a single statement.

"So... are you two together now?"

The four of them suddenly stopped, looking at Yasu dumbfounded who was still smiling like his life wasn't in danger at the moment.

"What?!" Ryo and Ueda answered at the same time, shocked at innocent Yasu's innocent question.

"Well you look like it...you ARE together right?" He replied, his smile was wider than the previous. He held his hands behind him, rising himself up and down on the balls of his feet.

"What?!" They said simultaneously. The two looked at each other, then back at Yasu. "Of course not!" They looked at each other again; only this time they were glaring.

"Aaaaw." Yasu clapped his hands in the air like some proud mother who made her daughter wear her favorite dress. "Wow. It's like you have telekinesis or something. Tell me, do you read each other's thoughts while on a date?" He said, that smile not planning on disappearing.

Ryo and Ueda hasn't thought of saying anything yet, Yamapi and Jin gaped at him, half of the others was scared for him, and the other half was amused and planning on doing the same.

Good thing the choreographer came right then. Rehearsals went through smoothly (surprisingly), and everyone had a fairly good time, going home with smiles on their faces.

Except for Ryo and Ueda though, who were still suffering the aftershock of Yasu's statement.

~

I hope I did ok... :|

RyoDa: Irony

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:34:58 GMT

Title: Irony
Fandom: KAT-TUN/NEWS/Kanjani8
Pairing: From RyoDa <3 to RyoDa </3
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warning: <s>Attempted</s> Angst. XDDD I did this like, 2:00 in the morning. So yeah. And this is only un-beta'd. So yeah. It's... awful.
Summary: Ueda gave Ryo his all, and yet it turned out to be painful.
A/N: This has been edited. (04/20/2009)

Ueda stared at the message this certain man sent him. That man whom he cherished, loved, cared... He gave him everything; his time, his affection, and the love that he deserved. He was patient and considerate with him. He would just sit there and watch when this man was whenever he's with his friends more than he should be with him, thinking that he wouldn't want to make his lover think that he was selfish. He was always there beside him, helping him if he needed it. He would distort his schedule just to go to him. All in all, he tried to be the best lover; He really did.

But in the end, he just got his heart broken.

Tatsuya sat on his bed, still staring at his phone. He read that message again and again and again and again. He doesn't know why he read it so many times. That message just tears his heart into a million pieces whenever he did. It would make him cry again even though there were no more tears to cry out. He would start to think again, although those thoughts were thought about days before. It would make him punch the same portion of the wall which was slightly reddish already (because of blood). All in all, this hurt him A LOT.

But despite that, this message made him a little happy. It gave him a sense of assurance that there was still something genuine that happened between them. Their feelings were true to each other. The hugs, the kisses, the touches; all of those were filled with love. The words said were true; the "Goodnight", "Do your best", "See you tomorrow", "8PM, ok?", "Don't overwork yourself", and "I love you"... Yes. Those made him happy, even though he was bombarded with all the sadness and despair this single man gave him.

"Why did you do this to me?!" He yelled, tears once again streaming out of his eyes. He couldn't take it, and he threw the cellphone at the wall.

He stared at the floor. He gripped the cushions hard, not seeming to take all the pain more. He wanted to kill that man. He wanted to tie him up on a pole and make him a human sand bag. He badly wanted to punch him until he coughs out blood. He wanted to make black and blue marks on him until his whole body is sore. He wanted to crush that handsome face he had, until it became very unpresentable. He really desired to make him feel a slow and painful death, one like he was feeling right now; he really did.

But he loves him too much to hurt him.

"I hate you Nishikido..." He whispered between sobs.

And then he remembered all of those happy moments they had; the love that they once shared. Those were the times when they were happy, too happy that it was so painful to think of. Those were the times when a mutual feeling was shared, and that feeling was so true that it became a big waste. Those were the times that their touches were so pure, so pure that you want to rub the essence off. It was all bitterness in the end. And yet...

"... But why do I still love you?"

The tear-stained cellphone lies there forgotten, and flashes the dreaded message...

Tatsuya, I know you don't
want to talk to me right now,
but what the hell, here I go.
I know you wouldn't believe me,
but I really did love you.
I never played with you.
But... the feelings are gone now,
and I wouldn't want to
hurt you with a lie. I'm really
sorry, I really am... Goodnight.

-Nishikido

~